Category Archives: Running

Are You Scared of Failing?

Posted on by

Or maybe even succeeding?

I write a blog post just about every time I run. But I only actually publish a post occasionally, those few times I think there might be a thought in there that would benefit or entertain somebody besides myself. I think maybe I’ve got one for somebody today!

 

Me “failing”

Thank goodness the sun came out today! I was getting tired of the treadmill, as it gives me a stiff knee. (By the way, if you know anybody who bought a treadmill to fulfill their New Year’s resolution, and then decided they don’t want it, I’d be happy to take that thing off their hands.) I did a base run of 4 miles this afternoon. I did about a 12:43 average pace, finishing in 51 minutes, and I found it an easy thing to do. My top speed was 8:54, and I hated to slow down when my watch beeped at me to knock it off. I love running faster than I should. This is a character problem, most likely.

Anyhow, while I was running, I was thinking about how, when I first decided to put on some shoes and stop moving so slowly through the world, this speed was very hard for me to maintain for more than a few minutes. Now? I can maintain a 9 min/mile speed for the same length of time that I used to sustain only 13. I expect someday, I don’t know when, to maintain a 10 minute pace with the same amount of effort I put in this afternoon. My heart rate was still a little higher than I like, but I’m making good progress with my Zone 2 workouts, too!

I do know that I’m getting older and I’m going to top out somewhere, but I don’t know where, nor when. I’m just enjoying the journey.

I’ve seen a wonderful improvement in both running and weight lifting in the last few years. I am proud of that, and I’m looking forward to being even more proud of myself in the future! I love this stuff! Many people, maybe even most, do not value what I’m doing in the slightest. That’s fine by me.

I got a really ugly comment a while back (on this Run Dump), from someone who apparently does not love this stuff. Nor does this person like me. The gist of the comment, without the profanity, was that I should give up…something. I couldn’t tell if the person wanted me to give up blogging, carnivore, running, or something else. But it was clear that she wants me to quit something I’m doing, right now! Because she thinks I’m stupid. I felt kinda sorry for her, because the only way you get this way is if you are, yourself, terrified of what other people might say about you. I don’t know who hurt this person, but it wasn’t me, and I am sorry to see a soul that stunted. Say a prayer for “notanidiot”, if you have time. There’s a lot of pain in there.

Now, I’m not saying all that so we can pile on notanidiot. This post ain’t for her. I’m saying it because I wonder how many people out there who might come across this post are afraid to try something hard, afraid to tell people what their goals are, afraid to let others know where they’ve failed, or worse, succeeded, because there are voices like this in their lives. If there’s one like this, there are a million, right? Good Lord, they might all come comment here! What then?

You might have a parent or sibling who talks to you like that, or a boss, or a “friend”. If so, I want to encourage you to do what you want to do, regardless of somebody else’s broken way of looking at you. And it is broken, I promise.

Projection is a funny thing.

If a stranger said something like this to you, would it hurt? Forget about the people who know you for a moment. What about a stranger on the internet, or in a grocery store, or at a race? I’ve made a lot of weird choices with my life, and I am fully aware of the criticism, and subsequent mental anguish, that comes with getting out of step with the rest of the herd. But the farther from the center of your life a person is, the less these kinds of statements should hurt, if you’re in a healthy mental state yourself.

Sadly, for many, it hurts just as much coming from random people as it would from their own mothers! We might even think that “random” equals “objective”, so randos must be more right than people who know us. This is faulty thinking, and I hope you’ll learn to recognize it when you fall into that trap.

The only reason this person even bothered to leave the comment was because she wanted to hurt me as much as something I said must have hurt her. You don’t waste time reading a very long blog post to which you can’t relate at all. There was something in that post that triggered her bad feelings about herself. She couldn’t have those feelings about me, because I don’t really exist. I’m just pixels on a page, until she realizes me through reading my thoughts. I was her random stranger, and she couldn’t bear what I must think of her!

But what she said couldn’t hurt me. It certainly couldn’t cause me to give up!

I realize, though, that I’ve known a lot of people who would give up at the slightest criticism. Sometimes they might give up before they even get started because they’re afraid of being laughed at or despised by people like this commenter. I haven’t experienced that feeling since I was fairly young–maybe my early twenties–because, thank God, I’ve been surrounded by encouraging and loving people who wouldn’t dream of trying to tear me down like that. Even that one person in my life who did try to tear me down wasn’t successful at it, because I was too well-loved by others to realize that I was even a target. I’m grateful for that. Some people never have that kind of love and stability in their families.

I just want to encourage those of you who might have a voice like that in your head–the voice that says “You aren’t as good as that other person.” or “Give up, you look stupid (or selfish, or ugly, or whatever).” or “Nobody’s ever going to care about this, why do you?” That other person is broken. Don’t let them break you, too.

Just go do the thing, whatever it is, that calls out to your spirit. It doesn’t have to please or impress anybody else. It especially doesn’t have to please or impress random people who don’t even know you. Strangely, that is often the person you fear the most! The young person lapping you at the half marathon might be a sweetheart with a kind word to encourage you (I’ve had that happen), or a bystander might laugh at you for being at the back of the pack and losing ground rapidly (I’ve had that happen, too). While my heart went out to each of those people in a different way, it did not affect me. It doesn’t have to make me slow down or stop, or even speed up! I admit I do sometimes have an “I’ll show you” attitude that lights a little fire under me sometimes, but it doesn’t go to my heart as something about me. I know it’s about them, and what’s in their heads, and it ultimately means nothing to me–unless I want to use it for a blog post or something.

If I had given up running, I could never have improved my running times or my health to this extent. I’d have missed out on a lot of fun and a lot of challenges, some of which I have very publicly failed. If I had given up blogging, I would never have known several readers who have become my friends over the years. There would be fewer people in the world understanding some of the things I think I have a grasp on and wish to share. And, what I am most proud of, there would be several fewer Christian babies in the world, because my blogging, stupid as it makes me look sometimes, has encouraged many young families to grow. You can’t take that away from me with ugly words.

If I had given up any of the things for which I’ve been criticized over the years, I’d be a completely different person right now. And I don’t think I’d like myself very much.

Conversely, if I had given up…whatever…I never would have had to hear such unflattering words about myself. I never would have had a stronger, faster person sneer at me. Never would have heard anybody tell me anything I didn’t want to hear about my looks or my health. I could go through my life like that, always keeping my head down, hiding, putting on the best face so nobody could see the flaws, giving up if others don’t see the value in what I’m doing.

But those flaws would still be there, and I’d be no better than I was in the beginning. I would just be fooling myself, basing my self-image on a mere idea that is named “Cindy” in other people’s minds. Why would you let yourself live like that? Yet, I can see that many do.

Maybe you’re scared to do something: carnivore, a new career, a different sport, a new musical instrument, dance lessons. Don’t let external voices–positive or negative–mean anything to your behavior. You don’t want to get into the habit of chasing praise any more than you want to avoid criticism! You just want to do The Thing, whatever it is.

It might sting a little at first to encounter the unpleasantness that will surely come your way from others, but as you see your goals coming nearer, even that little pain will be gone. This isn’t about other people’s idea of who you are. It’s about who you want to be, and who God wants you to be. He cares about these little things, even if nobody else does.

Black Bear Half Marathon Run Dump

Posted on by

I made it…Bearly!

It’s been more than a week since the half marathon in Hendersonville. I am sorry I took so long to update, especially to those friends who funded my run. You’re going to hear all about it now!

Pic from my hometown on Sept. 27, 2024 stolen from Bluegrass Life https://www.facebook.com/bluegrasslife/

As you all know, our beautiful mountains took a hard hit from hurricane Helene in September.

The half marathon (that at the time I was pretty confident I was ready for) was rescheduled for a month later, on November 10. I was determined to show up for this race, even though I had lost a lot of training time to the circumstances. Come Hell or high water, and the Good Lord willing, I was going visit Hendersonville and turn out in support of this beautiful community. The people in these mountains, including myself, are in desperate need of a little normalcy and fun. So I bought a neat tee-shirt to express my feelings on the matter…

…and I toddled my slow, unprepared butt on down the mountains past Asheville to run that race!

There were some challenges, of course. There always are, right? But extra ones, this time. For one thing, I had only had four training runs between the day of the hurricane and the day of the race, a total of maybe 30 miles in the month. I spent some days shoveling mud, some days volunteering at donation sites, some days delivering supplies, and of course I still needed to take care of my own family. My community and family needed me far more than I needed to be out running. Don’t take this to mean that I was being some kind of hero or martyr. I did not do enough, and I’m not done yet! I truly wish I had done more even now, and there are a lot of actual heroes around here who deserve all the praise. I’m a very minor player, I promise. I’m only telling you this because that was how I’ve had to spend my time, rather than running. 

This is my shovel. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

For another thing, I apparently caught a bug of some kind. Maybe I poisoned myself mucking around in contaminated flood mud, maybe I was just stressed out, or maybe I caught what the kids next door had. Whatever it was, I had been feeling nauseated and unwell for the past two weeks, at that point. (I’m mostly better now!) I really didn’t know if I was going to be able to finish this run at all. I tried to keep upbeat about the whole thing, but I was feeling pre-defeated on the drive down.

Though it sounds ridiculous, the worst thing, the one thing in all this that made me almost literally cry?

I packed the wrong socks.

When I was packing for the trip, I honestly just couldn’t get my mind clear on what I was even packing for. Something about a race? Seriously? Now? I managed to grab most of what I needed. At least I packed the right shoes. But I forgot many of the obvious things that one would normally would take on an overnight trip: toiletries, pajamas, laptop, emergency cash. I just didn’t have my head in the game at all.

If you’re a runner, or you know a runner, you likely know what a sinking feeling I had when I opened up the bag of running gear that Sunday morning and saw that I’d grabbed toe socks instead of the conventional socks I normally run in. The only other socks I had were even less likely to benefit me, so I put on the stupid socks.

This was a “can I even make it?” kind of run. As you know, I’m not the fastest, nor will I ever hope to be. But I enjoy the mental and physical challenge of running. I did think there was a chance I’d be close to dead last under these conditions, if I made it at all. But I really didn’t want to have to write that up for all the friends who helped me get here, so I went out there determined to just puke and run, puke and run, if that’s what I needed to do.

Praise the Lord, I can actually say “Yes! I made it!” I came in 249th out of 289 finishers. I am not proud of this, but it is what I could do that day. I didn’t even puke!

First goal cleared!

Black Bear Finisher Medal and number bib

Half Marathon box checked!

I had some other goals that were a little less important on this run. But they were more firm, and honestly more likely to fail, I thought. I wanted to beat both my 5k and 10k personal bests in the first miles.

Second and third goals cleared, as well! This, I am proud of! Of course they’re not pro numbers, but they are getting better all the time, and I think I’ll have actually respectable speeds soon.

The one goal I did not meet, of course, was the half-marathon time goal. It was, in a word, abysmal. I had wanted to keep around a 12-minute pace for every mile, which would have put me around 2.5 hours at the finish. That was a modest goal, I thought. I do sincerely, and hopefully without fooling myself, believe that I could have done that back in October, when the original race was scheduled. My training was planned and executed well until September 27th.

I actually kept my planned pace pretty well–though widely varying between 10:30 and 12:30 each mile because I wanted to meet those early speed goals–until about mile 10, when my right foot started to feel the insult of having the toes wrapped individually instead of all in a bundle. I had no choice but to walk a good deal of the last 3 miles. I could still jog a little, but then I had to walk some more. I watched about 50 people of whom I’d felt confident I’d seen the last pass me. I was encouraged by many sweet souls telling me how great I was doing, but I was not. I was not doing great at all.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been that mad at myself. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. I know, it’s just an amateur race and I’m nobody to be taking anything that seriously. But this just sucked, ok? I am not angry at myself any more, but at the time, I just could not believe what I’d done there.

But I did finish. 

And after I finished, I showered, rested an hour or so, and then smashed this beautiful steak and eggs:

Don’t mind the green stuff. I didn’t eat that.

Thanks again, so much, for supporting this run, friends! I pray for each and every one of you to be rewarded tenfold for your generosity in giving to my gofundme. God bless your generous spirits! There will be more races!

Yet Another Update on the Black Bear Race

Posted on by

Grrrrrr.

I just updated my previous update with some new information, to wit: (The) travel insurance was, as insurance usually is, too tricky in its terms to be of any use to me. While it would have covered my being unable to get there because of a hurricane, they refused to cover my not needing the room due to a hurricane. I have all sorts of words not fit for print right now. I’m out the money my backers sent me for the room, and will have to start driving around 4:30 a.m. to make it for packet pickup. But I will go!

I am incredibly sorry to all of my GoFundMe givers. I probably should have waited until closer to the race to book the room. Next time I won’t plan so far out. I will still be doing that race!

Black Bear Half Marathon Update

 

New Run Date!

Posted on by

The Black Bear Half Marathon has been rescheduled for November 10th!

I said I’d do it, and I’m going to do it. Lord willing, etc., etc. I am under-trained at the moment because the hurricane aftermath made running just a little bit difficult. First, I didn’t want to sweat too much without showers available. Then I didn’t want to try to go fast on roads covered in debris and gravel. And then I just had to admit, when those excuses were used up, that my heart was just breaking for the people who’ve lost so much. I didn’t feel like running. Besides, there were better uses in the community and at home for my energy.

And then I caught a cold or something, I think while mucking about in flood mud. I’m on about day 6 of that, and feeling like I might be all better tomorrow. The very minute I feel like I can do it without setting myself back, I’m going to get back on the road again. I’m a little bit panicky, because I have less than a month to be ready for the challenge. Fortunately, it hasn’t been that long since I ran–only a couple of weeks and change, though it feels like a lot longer–so hopefully I haven’t lost too much ground.

Pray for me and wish me luck, friends! I’m already daydreaming about crossing that finish line with some PRs to brag about!

My GoFundMe is still up if you want to help pay for the trip! I am funded, as explained here, but could still use the extra scratch for training and travel incidentals.

Black Bear Half Marathon Funded

Posted on by

Get ready, Hendersonville! I’m coming to run ya!

I’m tickled pink that 17 donors have made it possible for me to go to the Black Bear Half Marathon without dipping into the family funds. I felt a little bit delicate about asking, because it’s a want, not a need. But it’s something I want to do so badly that it is worth the hit to my pride.

I didn’t talk about it here when our septic system failed last year. We had a uniquely bad situation because of the age of our house and the steepness of our lot. It took nearly $30,000 when all was said and done. That’s not to mention the several months of having to dump used water outdoors, take very short showers, wash clothes at the laundromat, etc. Many of the costs were not in the repair itself, but in the things we had to do to adapt to the situation and clean up the lot afterwards.

Praise God, we managed to do it without debt and without losing our minds! But, as you can imagine, we’re still scrimping and saving to refill the hole that left in our emergency and other funds. That means we haven’t had much extra for unnecessaries like travel and athletics.

Your kind help means the world to me, friends! I will be praying for each of my donors by name during my run. If that sounds weird, you probably don’t run a lot. The mind goes all over the place. It’s part of why I run. I often use that peaceful time to talk to the Lord! I’m going to write their names down and pin them somewhere to my clothes so I don’t miss anybody. May the Lord richly reward their kindness!

If you’re feeling bummed that you didn’t get a chance to donate, there is still time. I’m going to leave this fundraiser open, because there is ALWAYS more I can do with it. I’m a sucker for technology and shoes, we’ll need to buy meals while we’re traveling, and GFM takes a fee off the top, so every little bit more helps keep my fun from burdening my family.

Thank you again, so much!

4 Under 45 on My 45th!

Posted on by

Not too bad for an old gal!

A couple of months ago, I told you all I had a running goal to beat by my birthday. I just know you’ve thought of nothing else since then, right? Well, I wanted to hurry up and post my results so you can get back your normal life, so here you go.

I had picked completely arbitrary numbers to try to beat. I was still 44, so I wanted to run 4 miles in 44 minutes or less. Alas, I forgot that I was supposed to do the race before turning 45. I just realized yesterday, after doing a leg workout, that I had misremembered my own goal. Smart, huh? Now just imagine the chaos when I’m trying to follow somebody else’s rules. So I turned my challenge into a birthday run. I needed to do something fun for myself today, anyhow.

As I said in the announcement post, I knew the original goal of 4 10-minute miles in a row was out of reach for me in that short amount of time, so I eased it up to 4 miles in 44 minutes. Did I make my goal? Well…

Sorta. It’s within the 44 minutes. I am as ecstatic with this result as if I had shaved off that last 45 seconds! Just look how cool those numbers are! 4 in 44:44, 313 calories (as if that mattered at all), 145 bpm at 45. I just think this is numerologically neat, ridiculous as numerology is.

My fastest 5k to date, as well, except for one fluke back before I got a new watch and lost the old data. I can’t prove it, but I had a 32-minuteish 5k once. Anyway, today’s 5k:

The first several seconds of my run were comprised of Myself arguing with Myself over whether she actually wanted to be doing this today. I was moving, but not really. You know how it is. No starting gun, no adrenaline rush. Next time I’ll have a kid out there with a gun. Why didn’t I think of that?

I guess you could say I missed the mark, if you wanted to be a Negative Nancy about it. But I don’t. I am a Positive Polly. I did 4 miles under 45 on my 45th! If you’re chasing arbitrary numbers (as I do), that’s pretty neat! And I expect sometime in the next month or two to hit my real goal of consistent, consecutive 10-minute miles. I’m improving!

What went wrong:

Now, in retrospect, some things could have gone better. My slow start due to feeling like crap is the thing I feel worst about. I really should have grabbed that thing by the…you know…the thing, and just RUN. There were also a couple of times I slowed down because I was daydreaming. I had no spectators besides some thoroughly underwhelmed cows, so that slowed me down a little.

May be an image of grass

Thoroughly Unimpressed

I did pass one very nice gal in a Subaru who smiled so big it relit my fire for a good half mile.

I forgot to tank up on electrolytes before I went. Who knows? That might have been a good or a bad thing. Less chance of stomach-sloshies or needing to pee. But I do usually feel like having my drink before I go makes me feel better. I think that “mistake” probably didn’t affect me either way.

Like my first real race, I didn’t sleep well the night before. I don’t know why I’m always scheduling my races while I am pre-menstrual, but both runs were preceded by a miserable sleepless night due to hormones. Carnivore has taken care of every single one of my PMS symptoms except that one night of insomnia a couple of nights before I start. I think that if I’d “fat fast” the couple of days before it, that might solve this problem. Gonna try that next month. If anybody has any other ideas what to do about this, I’d be happy to hear it! Drop a comment!

Last night I was pretty sure, given my mood and this massive cold I seem to be coming down with, that I was going to have to post something pretty embarrassing today. I didn’t even want to do it, I was so draggy and sad and sniffly. But I did it anyway.

What went right:

Once I started moving, I had fun, and felt really good. If running weren’t fun for me, I’d find something else to do with my scant leisure time. I’ve been doing a lot of reading about Zone 2 training, Maffetone method, and the like. A few weeks ago, I decided to change the way I run, backing off to a less impressive speed most of the time, in order to keep my heartrate down. Even though I was pretty sure it would knock me out of achieving this goal, I felt in the long run that it would make me much, much faster, and (more importantly) healthier. But slowing down all those weeks, surprisingly, didn’t stop me! It made me better, even in such a short time. That 145 avg heart rate is very good for me at that pace! I’m over the moon about this!

I have a really good sense of how I will perform. As with my April race, I was gratified to see that my estimate of what I am capable of, and then my ability to get pretty close to that, are fairly accurate. I set ambitious goals, and I really do try to reach those. But I am also very good at not getting so ambitious as to discourage myself. I like how good my instincts are for how far I can go on the training load I am able to fit into my busy life. Especially since I focus more on strength than running, I am stoked to see how much I have improved in a short time, just because I’m turning out to be a good trainer.

I didn’t talk myself out of the win. 

I felt like crap, y’all. All I could think all morning was “Why do I do these things to myself?” Well, I do them because that’s just who I am now: Not a quitter. Not a fearer. Not a loser. Not even that extra 45 seconds made a loser of me. I’m just too happy with how far I’ve come!

Don’t ever talk yourself out of a win, friends. Maybe you can’t measure up to the gal next door, and you sure won’t ever beat the one on social media who’s been running for years (Michelle Hurn, I’m looking at you!), but you can do your best for that day. It might hurt. It might come at some cost. But you can do something to make today a win. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make your day feel like a good one, whether it’s your birthday or not. Take the bull by the horns. I did, and now I don’t have to go my whole birthday feeling like a loser.

I did GOOD, y’all! I gave myself a wonderful birthday present. I pushed myself and got some very cool numbers at the end, no manipulation.

I WON!

 

4 in 44 at 44

Posted on by

A summer challenge.

I was sitting around the other day feeling a little bored. I don’t have a race to train for right now (no money for such luxuries), and I find it hard to really improve without knowing what I’m aiming for, so I needed to come up with an event all my own. At first, I thought it would be cool to run 4 miles in 40 minutes. Since I’m 44, you know.

After a few days of thinking, and running, and really just wanting to make the title of the challenge even catchier, I decided to back that goal down to 4 miles in 44 minutes, bringing my target speed to 11 minutes per mile. Let’s at least be realistic. I’m not a fast runner, but I can do 11 minutes four times in a row. I know I can! I’m still going to go for the harder prize: 4 10-minute miles in a row. But I will consider myself to have won my race if I can do 4 in 44.

I have until mid-August. I’ll let you know if I make it!

Run Dump!

Posted on by

I’m just gonna puke it all up here.

If you zoom in, you can see my little “Suffering Christ” pins I bought to hold the bib on. To Him be all the glory and praise! I know I talk up the Meat Life, but it’s only Jesus that makes me even want to live.

So, I did a thing. And now I’m sitting here, just smiling. And smiling is what I’ve been doing for days in the run up to this…er…this run. I have been so over-the-moon happy to be doing this!

I am having a hard time nailing down why it is that the mere idea of running a race–one which I never had a hope of winning or placing–makes me so happy. For days, I’ve been falling asleep with a smile on my face, thinking “I get to run! I get to race!”

Then last night…well, no smiling happened last night. Instead, I just lay there trying to sleep. You know how it is: when you know you need your rest, it’s really hard to fall asleep. You don’t smile when you’re trying as hard as you can to shut down your excitement and go to sleep. (UPDATE: Actually, this turned out to be PMS insomnia, which I am prone to.) I expect the next race I enter to affect me a little less this way.

Anyhow, I woke up, packed a breakfast for the family to eat while they waited for me at the finish line, and went and ran this thing:

On about 3 hours of sleep. And a weak left ankle. I’m not making excuses. Just telling the sad truth. I was not really in the best shape for this race because of these two things. But I was mentally into it, so I did it anyway. All things considered, my expectation to cross the finish line in an hour and twenty minutes (remember when I said I was slow?) was not too far off the mark. Taking it easy so as not to blow out my Achilles tendon, which I’m working on strengthening, I did it in 1:23! Woot! My average pace was an unimpressive 12 minutes per mile.

I finished ahead of only (I think) five other runners. Almost everybody, even the old people, came in ahead of me. I “lost”. By a LOT. I’m still happy.

And it’s because I’m so grateful. Six years ago (actually, my calendar tells me it was more like seven now), I could not breathe because of asthma. I could not run because I was fat and my right knee hurt all the time. Even if I could have run, I’d have had so much social anxiety that I’d have never considered going out in front of God and everybody and making an absolute fool of myself. But the biggest smiles I’ve smiled when anticipating this race have been the ones where I knew I was going to make a fool of myself. Because it doesn’t matter! I’m a fool? The world needs fools, too!

I had fun. I did something hard. I beat me. I beat Ten Years Ago Me. I even beat Last Week Me:

All personal bests!

Now, nobody is going to look at that and say “Wow! What a natural talent!” Really, I’m 4’11”. I’m not ever going to outpace people with actual legs. But I got faster today. And I’ll get still faster tomorrow. And eventually those numbers might start to look respectable. Maybe. If they don’t? Who cares?

What’s respectable about all this is not the numbers, but how far I’ve come. I’ve worked to be able to do this. I’ve sat at the dinner table with people eating “normal” food and cried because I knew I was never going to enjoy pizza again. I’d love to be able to say it was a tear of joy running down my cheek because I was so glad to be rid of all my health problems, but it wasn’t. I was just sad not to eat pizza anymore. (There are carnivore-keto ways to simulate pizza, by the way. But they don’t agree with my system very well, so I don’t eat them.)

I’ve been lifting weights, rowing, and running for a few years now.

I’ve done the hard work of getting myself to enjoy human contact, after living most of my adult life in abject dread of social interactions. I’m not going to try to make it sound like it was worse than it was. I was able to get the kids to church and playdates and basically live a normal life. But it was miserable. I cried–or cringed–myself to sleep frequently. Social anxiety sucks! But I beat it.

I deserve the respect I have for myself right now. 

As the last two runners came in at the 1:43 mark, I cheered for them as hard as I could. I was as proud of them as I was of the guy who finished in FORTY-FOUR minutes! Maybe those slow finishes don’t mean much to a “real runner”, but we have no idea what they may have overcome to be able to get to that finish line.

They didn’t lose. They just won last. 

 

 

Smile!

Posted on by

I get a charge out of you!

I took what was likely my last run before the big run this morning. Maybe I’ll squeeze in another little one Thursday, just for fun. Sunday afternoon I’d had to cut a run short because my Achilles tendon was acting up. I requested prayer from friends and family, rested another day, and woke up thinking I’d like to test that heel. Everything was fine today! No pain. I’m ready for the event!

And I had an audience, waaaaaaayyyyy up in the sky! (Sorry about the grainy picture. I was running. Didn’t really have time for a good zoom.) That was neat.

I smiled and waved, just on the off chance he could see me from up there. Then I looked down at my Garmin and noticed, not for the first time, that after smiling and waving at somebody, I was running faster. A lot faster! And I felt great!

There’s some kind of energy being exchanged here.

It’s odd, but when I’m running alone, after an initial burst, I can urge myself on to a hard pace only with great mental effort. I lose steam quickly, and just have to grind it out. But as soon as somebody says “You go!”, or “Get it, girl!”, or just smiles and makes me feel like I’m among friends, I’m flying effortlessly! Running is suddenly easy. It feels good.

Now, I love a long, slow run all by myself. It blows the cobwebs out of my head and gives me time to pray and plan and write blogs posts in my head.

I love a good fast run by myself, too. It takes a different mindset to get yourself to go faster and harder when nobody cares, nobody’s keeping a timer on you, and you’re only doing it to see what you’re capable of. It’s probably good for the soul in some way, to put yourself through that kind of torment. I hope so, anyway.

I also really love sprint/walk workouts, where I push as hard and fast as I can for 20 or 30 seconds, and then walk to recover, over and over again until I just can’t do it anymore. Uphill, downhill, flat, doesn’t matter. It’s just a wonderful way to wear yourself out and build cardiovascular strength.

And now, here’s this whole other kind of run that I hadn’t noticed I was doing, but is really my favorite: the one where people are smiling and waving and somehow throwing their energy my way. I always thought I was pretty introverted, but the older I get, the more of a charge I get out of other people. Maybe I’m becoming some kind of long distance extrovert! No need to talk to me, just smile and wave as I run away! I get a real, measurable charge out of that kind of interaction.

I hope this same magic follows me to The Cub on Saturday. I’d be shocked, honestly, if I do this thing in an hour and twenty minutes. That’s my wildest dream. I’m not fast, ok? But if the spectator spell I’m noticing works consistently, and it’s not just a temporary boost that wears off like most placebos, I might be able to shave another ten minutes off that! It’s that big of a difference that I’m getting!

(While I’m talking about time-shaving, I might as well mention that I’m hoping to rub 5 more minutes off of my 5k time by the end of the summer. I think I can do it. I’m finding that I do a lot better when I have a firm goal, rather than just “let’s go out and see what we can do today”.)

You really don’t know what you can do until you have to do it.

In fact, before I signed up for Saturday’s race, my longest run had been, I guess, about four and half miles. Once I knew there was a 7-miler in my future, I started going both longer and faster.

Because I knew I was going to have to, I not only did it, but I did it well: doubled distance and faster pace.

If you’re struggling to get better at something, I highly recommend making it official by joining a competition! Or a class. Or go get your neighbor and see if she wants to join you. Make sure that the thing you’re doing “just for yourself” is social enough to keep you on your toes.

You will stagnate on your own.

When others are involved, whether as spectators or competitors or companions, you will find that you have vast reserves of ability and motivation that you didn’t care enough to search out before. This is not an extrovert thing. It’s not a pathetic sheeple thing. It’s a human being thing. We thrive on each other’s encouragement. This applies to all areas of life. If you’re not into sports, but (let’s just say) music or acting, find a group to play with, or a bunch of other newbies to jam with. Or maybe you want to learn a language or a new skill. You can do all that online by yourself, sure!

But it’s not usually getting you anywhere if you’re doing it all alone. You might have this super-secret ability to speak German really fluently, but who are you speaking it to? Find people!

And since I almost always find myself bringing it back around to Jesus (because of course it’s all about Jesus!), this is why we need church, too. I know a lot of people who name the name of Christ, but stay away from church for whatever reason; this hypocrisy, or that doctrinal disagreement, or that way of doing the budget. It doesn’t matter. There’s always some reason to avoid church, if you really want to dig one up.

By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.–John 13:35

You can’t love people you won’t even go around. You are meant to bless and encourage other Christians, and they are meant to bless and encourage you. You have to show up for it, no matter how hard it is to swallow your differences, or get up that early on the one day you have off work, or you will never know what you are capable of as a follower of Christ. You could be moving mountains, but you’re struggling to even move yourself.

Get out there. Whatever it is you’re doing, get among people from time to time. You think you don’t need them? Fine. What if they need you? Just go!