We don’t watch a lot of TV, but when we do, we tend to go for the less-gossipy, more fun kinds of reality show like Storage Wars or 17 18 19 20 Kids and Counting. We haven’t seen very many of the Duggars’ shows, just because Netflix hasn’t made very many of them available, but what we’ve seen is just wonderful. Word on the internet is that they have announced that baby number 20 is on the way! Word on the internet, of course, is a sketchy and frustrating thing, sometimes. A quick Swagbucks search told me everything I need to know about the world’s reaction to the newest blessing. It ain’t pretty.
The Deranged Housewife asked why people hate the Duggars so much. To which I replied:
You won’t hear me say anything negative about the Duggars! Except that maybe I think the bus would look better in bright red. I think the reason the Duggars really tick people off, aside from the joyful and wholesome Christian lifestyle, which is really foreign to most Americans, is that they put the lie to our culture’s myth that children are too expensive, too much trouble, impossible to deal with, etc. People just don’t know how to react to it when their whole narrative goes KABOOM like that.
Like most hatred, Duggar Derangement Syndrome (henceforth dubbed DDS) is a completely irrational reaction to something our culture simply doesn’t know how to parse. When a worldview is challenged, the natural reaction, for those who haven’t had much practice in defending their worldview, is anger. How DARE you try to yank the rug from under me that way! I’m enjoying the world the way I see it! It’s the most understandable thing in the world. Wrong. But understandable.
The Duggers expose many lies that our society is literally built on—lies that are really so much sinking sand, and our sinking society is starting to panic.
Lie 1: Kids are a financial liability. I’ve addressed this lie briefly, and Connie, my hero at Smockity Frocks, is taking it on in detail. Check those links for the truth about money and children.
Lie 2: It takes a village. We have been trained by our own experiences with socialized education to believe that children are impossible to handle without the help of professionals. No one family can do it all or pay for it all. In fact, having children in the care of their own parents twenty-four hours a day is the weirdest thing imaginable in our brave new world. And yet, here are the Duggars daring to leave that system we’ve so carefully arranged “for the children” to fend for themselves. Worse, it’s working!
Lie 3: Childhood should be a time of complete carelessness and selfishness. The stupidest objection I hear to the number of children that the Duggars have is that the kids have to help one another because there aren’t enough parents to go around. Usually, the complaint is that the older kids are actually raising the younger ones. In a dysfunctional family, this would be true. I’ve seen it. In a loving family where the parents are in charge, this is really just something that our culture hasn’t witnessed, and thus can’t understand. It’s brothers and sisters loving one another. When I tell my son to hold his sister’s hand in the parking lot, to tie his brother’s shoes, or to fold his father’s laundry, he is not raising anybody. He is helping his fellow man, and learning that he is his brother’s keeper. We’ve been taught in our culture that helping the helpless is the government’s job, so I can see how that might be confusing.
Lie 4: Having babies is too dangerous for the average woman. Having babies is certainly a risk. I don’t deny that. So is walking on a busy city street or eating pretzels. But the Duggars prove that most of the medical rationale for an otherwise healthy woman not having “too many” children is a convenient excuse for encouraging women to drop out of procreation after the standard two-maybe-three babies. Pregnancy and childbirth are natural processes, but our culture treats them as disease.
Lie 5: It is impossible to raise children morally and in a way that they won’t rebel. I don’t want to tell on my social worker friend too much (about whom I commented more at Our Peaceful Homeschool Zoo), but it is very telling to me that she is now extremely annoyed, not only with the Duggars, but with their oldest son, who has the temerity to agree with them and live his life as they’ve taught him to. In fact, there are whole websites devoted to hoping that one of the daughters in particular will rebel. No one likes to see their own worldview fall apart, but masses of angry people on the internet are certainly hoping that the worldview of the Duggars won’t survive through their progeny!
Lie 6: Christianity is creepy. This is a lie for which we can thank Hollyweird. The only contact most Americans—even many nominal Christians–have with real Christianity anymore is through the media, in which every preacher is a hypocrite or a baby torturer. There are a lot of people who find the Duggars creepy when they start to sing hymns together. But it’s the dissonance of seeing how much they love Christ and how harmless they are that sets people off, not anything actually creepy that is happening. We are pre-programmed to distrust religious sincerity.
Lie 7: Sex and childbearing have nothing to do with one another. There’s just something so uncouth about allowing sex to produce anything but a nice feeling, and maybe a bond between couples, if both of them would like to continue the relationship. What the Duggars, and all reproducing couples do, is allow their love to mean something beyond the use of each other’s bodies. They remind people that the consequences of Godly sexual behavior are blessed, and that fruitless, promiscuous sex is an abomination.
Lie 8: Motherhood is a dead-end job. Another one I’ve covered elsewhere. Suffice it to say that Michelle Duggar is a paragon of contented motherhood, and it makes “feminists” crazy.
Lie 9: The Big Lie. At the bottom of Duggar-hatred is Christ-hatred. I’m convinced that if the Duggars were raising twenty kids because they think evolutionary processes demand that the fit reproduce, and they deem themselves to be more fit than most (and I’d say they are!), there wouldn’t be much outcry, because in all other respects, it’s obvious that they’re doing a fantastic job. It’s the Jesus thing that really kills the world. It has ever been so:
If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you.—John 15:18
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I am the Mommy of two boys and I firmly believe that God knows what each of us can handle. Wheather it is one child or 20 plus childeren. I have not seen the show. However, My hat goes off to all you Mommies and Daddys who have more than me. God knows what he is doing… it is not for us to judge.
Twitter: GrowingStam
December 8, 2011 at 8:44 pm
Amen, Great post!
You have great points of why so much hates… People hates being face with their sin, even if don’t realise that is why they hate so much!
Michelle lost is so sad, we have lost one little blessing a couple months ago, and now pregnant again, but the pain is still very real. Praying for comfort for the Duggars (2 Cor 1:3-4)
Twitter: JamerrillWriter
December 8, 2011 at 8:55 pm
Well, I can’t NOT chime in! I love and agree 100% with everything that you wrote.
So sad she lost the baby!!
At least the little sweetie pie is with Jesus. Praying the family recovers well.
Twitter: JillCraft
December 8, 2011 at 10:32 pm
Love it! Thank you for sharing your heart! I wrote a similar post.
Being the Mama of 5 biological & 2 chilren from another Mother. & 11 grands & 4 ‘adopted’ ones( can’t leave out 4 of my grands step/half siblings) . I have so much admiration for the Duggar family . How often do you see a family group a fraction of their size function with the love, care & consideration ,that they exhibit . Kudos to JimBob & Michelle for all their hard work & wisdom in raising not only a Godly Family ,but one that works together for the good of all.
Thanks for a great article. I havent watched the show since we don’t have access, nor dealt with many Duggar haters, but I have had a few people make strange comments which I have countered. One of the strangest, which generally comes from “Christians” is that it is a financial burden on society that they have so many children. I tell them that not only aren’t they on government assistance, but they are not in a bunch of debt either. Then those people who had their rug pulled out are grasping for another reason to think there must be something wrong with having a large family. Praise God this family is bravely willing to stand for Biblical truths in a hostile public arena. Thank you for defending Christian principles on this blog. I am glad a friend shared it.
Twitter: LindaDifino
December 8, 2011 at 10:57 pm
GREAT post, Cindy! You rock my world. I sure hope the fame doesn’t change you.
Isn’t every job a dead-end job?
Exactly!
I only wish my husband and I were half as good at raising our 5 and counting. Praise God for the blessings the Duggars have. God still does consider children a blessing!
I LOVE all of the positive comments here. Lots of love from big families. I currently have 2 boys, I would like another child, but my hubby isn’t so sure, and he lost his job and our insurance. I know it can be done with little money and no insurance, but it makes him uncomfortable so I respect his decision. Anyway, reading these posts about all of you with big beautiful families makes me wonder something larger….if having less children has caused us to have this new “entitlement” generation? I grew up as one of 3 and I had to help around the house, and help take care of my brothers. I knew how to take care of a baby long before I ever had one! Maybe if we stopped buying our kids every new gadget and made them “earn” some of this stuff we get them we might have a better society. Just a thought….and about the resources thing….Really? I know you said you don’t do religion, but if God didn’t want this many people on the planet, he would take care of that. He will provide “enough” . We don’t always need “excess”.
LOVE. I love this. So much. Gentle, unrelenting truth. Love it. The heart issue is what’s really going on in this situation, and you do an awesome job of directing readers to an examination of the heart attitude, versus other takes that offer up a prescription for how many children people ought (or ought not) to have.
My heart goes out to this family…im 29 years old I have a stepdaughter but no childrent of my own my husband and I have lost two babies one in 2009 a little girl born at 22 weeks and one just recently at 11 weeks …I know the pain but I know tht Gods has a plan for ours lives as stated in Jerm 29: 11..they will be in our prayers
Thank you for putting this out into the internet world! I have noticed, as many have, that the majority of those who bash and spread hate about the Duggar family are non-Christian liberal folk, and I think it’s plain sad the way they speak about such a loving, upstanding Christian family. Yeah, the older kids help out more than those in an ‘ordinary’ family, but that doesn’t mean they are raising the younger ones. They are learning very important lessons, not only in showing love for their brothers and sisters and helping set a loving example for the younger ones, but also in how to care for others in general. Michelle and Jim are upstanding pillars in the community they reside in, as well as the Christian community. The family genuinely loves each other in the proper way, and Michelle and Jim are a wonderful example of a nurturing, HEALTHY married couple. The children have never been sexually abused, nor have they been physically or emotionally abused. They are intelligent, and some of the most well-rounded, humble people I have ever seen. Perhaps people have grown too cold, too driven to out-do each other. Perhaps society, in general has forgotten that in order to have a hope for the future, we must love and treat our children in the manner that God has decreed us to do so. Children that are brought up in a home where they are taught self-respect and how to properly behave and function are the future of this world. For some reason, a point was reached where people decided to buck tradition and honor, and they have decided that conformity in any mode is evil, Christianity is evil, love and respect is evil, the sanctity of marriage is evil. They would rather have children with multiple partners and be single and ‘independent’ rather than be ‘tied down’ to one person and have a wholesome family as in the ‘old’ days. Why? Only they know, I guess…or do they? Perhaps it’s just the need to rebel at any and all cost. Hmmm…. Me? I have a husband, my first and only, that I have been married to for almost 11 years. We have 6 children (and as much as I HATE this question, and it is asked often since it’s apparently uncommon for the answer to be yes…but YES they are all OURS). Is it hard? Yes. Do we struggle? Yes. But we are constantly working hard to make our lives better. Personally, I regard the Duggar family very highly, and with the utmost respect. I truly wish there were more honest people like them in the world.
Ok….I am going to be the voice of opposition but let me let me start by giving you some background.First, I do not hate the Duggers. I disagree with them having so many children but not for any reasons that you discussed here. I am one of only five children (I say only because compared to the Duggers, it is not a lot). I am a christian….and have two children of my own. I think all the points you addressed are spot on. I have to agree that the Duggers have the best moral, christian values as I have ever seen. I applaud them for that, really. My concerns are with the children. Not financially because as you pointed out, that is not a problem for them. I just wonder when do you say “God has blessed us and now I will focus on the children I do have and make sure that they get all the love and attention they deserve.” As second born of five, I know that I alsways yearned for more attention from my parents and more one on one time. However, I knew that with younger siblings, they required more. I have never seen any of the Dugger children appear sad nor neglected but I have to feel sorry for them not being able to have that unique relationship that I feel is impossible with so many siblings. I applaud the job they are doing but my heart really breaks for what the children are truly missing out on. The good news is that they are living all they know. They have no idea and I can say for their sake that ignorance is bliss. I know that the parents do the best they can which is far more than what I can say for some families with only one or two children. I just wish they would be done and focus on the precious children God has so graciously given them. The good news is, I think that I am more concious of making sure that my children are showered with love and attention from me and so I feel as though the Dugger children will all be better parents themselves when they have their own.
lolly,
in a lot of ways i agree with you. i was second oldest of 9. mom would have a baby, come home , hand it to me and go to bed because she was so tired. my dad was an awful person and would “be nice” to mom while she was pregnant and then he was mean again.
we were all homeschooled and NEVER went anywhere except church. but the schooling, cleaning, laundry, childcare, fell on me. and i was just a kid. at on point i had 4 kids in diapers, i was 14.
it made me a strong person, and a good mom. but i do see a lot of the parenting work fall onto the Duggar girls. i do believe that kids should work around the house and help being part of the family, but the parenting should be the parents job.
i am married and i have 6 kids of my own now. but i am the mom and my husband is their dad.
i do agree with you on this. i think that kids are a blessing but at some point you have to ask your self…”does god really want me to risk my life?” “does god want the 19 kids that i do have to loose their mom?” there has to be more thought to it !!!
just sayin
So you’re doing a good job! Awesome on you! I really don’t think I could ever follow the thought “kids are a blessing” with a “but” the way you just did, but I totally understand where you’re coming from.
Kim – I agree with Cindy about the “but.” And I’ll take it a step further, if I may. I understand you’re obviously concerned about the health risks of having so many children. I just birthed my second a few weeks ago and it’s certainly a drain on my body, but I also trust that God knows what He’s doing with me and my family. You speak of the risk as though you are the only one who has any control over your health. Having children is something God has specifically designed you, me, and Michelle Duggar to do. We are intended to be mothers. To say for yourself or indicate that Mrs. Duggar should say that God wouldn’t want a mother to risk her life by having another child is giving into fear and limiting God’s power. I’d be interested to know what the general consensus would be if this were, say, Mrs. Duggar’s first or second. I suspect more people would be rallying around her, offering support & comfort, and defending her great courage for trying to have children later in life. I mean, that’s the chic thing to do nowadays. Just look at Halle Berry and Nicole Kidman.
I think the problem comes in when we look at the Duggars and judge them by our own, personal experiences. All people will disappoint in some way or other, regardless of how many children they have. In your case, Kim, your father would have been mean regardless of how many children your mother had. And who’s to say it was children who made your mom so tired? I can tell you from experience that depression will tire anyone out, whether they have one child or 10. If your dad treated your mom horribly, it was likely depression that caused her to hand off the babies to you and go to bed. From a different perspective, perhaps having lots of siblings softened some of the harsh realities for you because when your dad was mean and your mom was tired, you still had your siblings. Had you not had them, you probably would have been much more lonely. Or perhaps you would have felt that your mean dad targeted you with his anger because there would have been no other children to absorb his extra anger.
And may I make the same point to Lolly, along with another. I have three children, but even when I had two, my oldest was never happy with the amount of attention I gave him, and he got a lot! The fact is, children are very egocentric. I remember a friend of my son who was an only child. He wasn’t satisfied with the attention from his two working parents (although they gave him plenty of attention), and he had every toy on earth. The two problems were that his parents placed a priority on material things and both worked, and the son thought the world should revolve around him, so he wasn’t happy as he realized it didn’t. I’m all for loving, teaching, and playing with my children. But the fact is, I’d be raising a dysfunctional child who was ill-prepared for the world if I didn’t teach him to also entertain himself, care for himself, learn to cook for himself, clean for himself, and educate himself. Today’s parenting advice to spend every waking moment focused on your children is one of the things contributing to our entitlement problem in society. It also creates some very selfish spouses with marital problems.
Growing up, I had Catholic neighbors with 10 children, and I’ve observed many other children of large families who blame their lack of parental attention on having too many siblings. But children who come from families with only two children (such as mine), often have the same complaint of lack of parental attention, believe it or not. It’s just that each egocentric child finds a reason to justify why their parents did not spend the amount of time with them that the child wanted. It’s easy for a child in a large family to place the blame on too many children. Smaller families place the blame on a multitude of other things. My oldest son blames my middle daughter as the reason he doesn’t get the attention he wants. Does that mean I should have only had one child?
The Duggars appear to have a loving and well-adjusted family. I don’t feel sorry for their children having a lack of attention. I envy their situation because their children have already learned to put selfishness aside and to love their siblings. They have a number of admirable traits that I wish my children had. And it seems obvious to me that the parents do take time to spend with each individual child. You wouldn’t believe how many families who only have one or two kids DON’T take the time to do that with their kids. But you don’t see everyone criticizing those families on the internet.
Let me begin by saying I too am a Christian – believe all that the Bible teaches, but here is my discrepency: God gave us a brain, to use it, and think with. Granted Jim Bob has well provided for his family (even if most of what they purchase is from second hand stores) to save money. By home schooling, they are given the individual attention that they would not get in public school (older assisting the younger one to one). They have leaarned to cook, clean, and good parenting skills through family values, which today we see litle of. Just love watching them playing all their different instruments, and singing words of Praise and Worship to The Lord as a family. This is a thing of beauty, instilled in them through their parents values, the Word of The Lord in Bible Study – I applaud them for this!!
But, as I said previously, there is a time to say enough is enough. At 45 yrs. of age, Michelle is High Risk, especially with eclmpsia, which if I am not mistaken caused the early delivery of Josie. Knowing this, is it worth putting two lives in jeopardy, and again causing the premature birth of a child who either may not live, or possibly live a life wih
birth defects? Seems some still are plauging Josie. Is she still not on oxygen therapy, and getting sick for seeminingly no apparent reasons?
I am NOT a Dugger hater, watch their program religiously, and do admire the values instilled in their childrens lives. My problem is – When is it time to say enough? After all they went through with poor Josie (and it still appears she is not totally well after their visit in Israel), and the fact that Michelle’s body has never had the time to heal properly, to return to “normal” physically. Granted that The Lord said – “Go for and multiply”, but I do believe that they are pushing it to the limit. She can say no when ovulating (and by now, I do believe she knows when that is happening), and why can’t precious Jim Bob have the presence of mind not to have sex with her during these times? Having the scare they did with Josie, and almost loosing Michelle, wouldn’t it be the wise thing to think of “What would happen if he lost the love of his life, the mother of all his children”, just because he wasn’t using the brain God gave him and was running on his own physical desires? And she, being the dutiful loving wife not saying “NO, this is not a good time”, why take any chances on the loss of a child or myself?” This is not disobeying The Lord, it is just using common sense.
I had so speak my peace, and am very sorry for their loss, however, miscarriages happen for a reason, and in my heart, believe that this was The Lord trying to say STOP? You have enough children, be grateful they are all normal and well, don’t press your luck.
I sincerely hope that this statement is not taken out of context, but given through the thoughts of both mental and physical consideration for both Michelle’s well being and her desire to continue being the wonderful Mom she is to her family.
Eclampsia is not a condition which repeats itself, “just because.” Having it once, does not necessarily mean having it twice. Michelle has said many times that if she feels that it is no longer safe to become pregnant again, she might re-think her situation. One preemie due to a regularly occurring condition that does not necessarily repeat itself in the same woman is not reason to stop having babies. All over the world the cutting edge of medicine is to get 60 and 70 year old women pregnant because they were not able to conceive on their own. It is controversial, but no one is up in arms about it. It is helping us learn more and more about how pregnancy affects us, and how aging affects pregnancy. 45 is not all that big a stretch to have a baby even without intervention, and lots of women are having careers well into their 40s and then starting a family. If this were Michelle’s first the world would be encouraging her not to give up on her dream.
I don’t believe for a minute that JimBob is making decisions based on his physical desires either. They are in a loving relationship in which (although they don’t talk about it specifically) involves both of them desiring to be intimate. That does frequently result in pregnancy, and it is a beautiful sign of what God has blessed us with. If there were a clear threat to Michelle’s health from this, they would abstain or make other arrangements, that is simply not the case. THEY are both using their brains, and listening to the Lord with their hearts. Sexual desire is secondary to that.
It is not my place, or yours to discern what the Lord is saying to Michelle here, only Michelle’s. A miscarriage happens in anywhere from 10-75% of pregnancies depending on what stage you are referring to. A 19 week miscarriage (although it was probably earlier) is not uncommon, and probably has little to do with Michelle’s age. None of this is ours to judge. I don’t think I am taking your words out of context, just realize that it sounds like you are saying “I know better, but don’t judge me because it is with the best of intentions.”
I agree with your statement, “The only contact most Americans—even many nominal Christians–have with real Christianity anymore is through the media, ” but go to bed every night thinking that’s because so many “Christians” spend their lives tied up with the building and people of their own church and so little time helping others.
Lolly- I think it’s an illogical assumption to think that in smaller families kids get more parental attention. Most parents I know who are not homeschooling are very busy with their “own” lives, and though they have fewer children than I do, spend less time with them. It really depends on the parents, thier personalities and their priorites.
Loved the article! I’m linking it in my blog!
My parents only had two, and I only wish they’d had as much involvement in my life as the Duggars did with twenty. Not that my parents neglected me, but they truly didn’t know how to parent us, especially as teens. LOVE my parents. They were just young, and I think the way they raised us was really just they way their generation and economic class did things, so please don’t think I’m disparaging them! The Duggars are doing just wonderfully. They’re human, though, and it’s not going to be perfect for their kids any more than it was for the rest of us.
I’m sorry. I don’t think being young has anything to do with being a good or bad parent. My mother got married at 17 & had her first at 19… and she was a fantastic mom. Perhaps you meant immature?
No! Not for many! I wish I’d started young. Didn’t mean to imply that every young parent doesn’t do a good job. Merely that mine were unprepared.
Thank you for everything you said. I agree 100%. I am always amazed at people’s reaction to the Duggars. I find them so totally refreshing. They are not ashamed of their beliefs. I am always blessed that they respond to the media scrutiny with such humility but strength. They never come across as weird, which the media loves to emphasize. Thank you for your words.
Such sad news this morning about the Duggar miscarriage. I went through the exact situation of going in and the doctor not finding a heartbeat. It is devastating. And NO it is NOT “nature’s” or God’s way of saying STOP!! When you value human life, it is not so easy to dismiss. This is a pain the family will carry the rest of their lives, but I am confident that their faith in God will bring them hope and the courage they will need to carry on. Haters need to keep their opinions to themselves and let this family have time to grieve in peace.
Sorry to be snippy, but it is a touchy subject for me. God bless.
So sorry for your loss. You didn’t say how long ago it was, but I can tell it’s still a difficult subject. A sweet friend of mine just lost her baby, too, and it’s terrible to watch. People keep telling her to get over it. How do you get over that? I don’t think I could. You move on, maybe, but you never forget. Saying a little prayer for you now.
So sorry for your loss…I know all to well the pain you are feeling….I have lost two precious babies the only two pregnancies I have had…One born at 22 weeks and one lost at 11 weeks…one was two years ago and one just a couple of months ago…you never get over the pain…it is something that you will always carry with you…I have clung to Jeremiah 29:11 through all of this…and though I have moved on my hurt still hurts and longs for a baby, but I know my God and he is bigger than anything I could every face and I know he has a plan for my life as well as for yours…God bless you…..
Great post. Your observations are right on. I recently read an article about why people love to hate Tim Tebow. It’s really all about the discomfort that people in the world have around people who walk in the spirit. I understand that and it’s to be expected. Persecution is all around us. We need to pray for one another.
I’m over from Holy Spirit Led Homeschooling (via Facebook) this morning and ALL I can say is “AMEN”. Thank you for sharing!!
Very good job exposing “the lies” of the world. I believe that bringing sin to the light and exposing it is the only way to let the light of Jesus deal with that sin. And from the looks of it, the Duggars are being a great “light” and you are right about why the world hates them. Don’t you hate it when you are driving and the sun gets in your face and you can hardly see where you are going? So what do we do? We put on our sunglasses. That’s what the world has done. They’ve continues to willingly veil their eyes to the truth and the light and when they put those sunglasses on, they continue to see what they want to see. When I see the light of Jesus, I want to be completely overcome by it and to soak it up, because I know that only He can change me. It’s sad to see the scrutany against the Duggars, but it’s encouraging to see how they handle it so gracefully.
Why do you delete posts that have a difference of opinion than you? I personaly don’t understand why people give these freaks any attention…
I don’t! I have only trashed one post, and that was accidental and restored! (And agreed with me, btw) Why do you think I did? Read my comment policy for more information: http://getalonghome.com/policy/comment-policy/
Even if she had removed such posts, this pile of words isn’t a free state populated by (taxpaying) citizens. It is a complete and total dictatorship, albeit owned by a benevolent dictator-for-life who foots all the bills. Rex lex.
And if you don’t understand why “people give these freaks any attention…”, why are you not only reading a post about them, but taking the time to comment on it?
What would I do without you, baby?
I’m from a family of seven & my parents certainly had their share of comments about the family size. My husband’s parents encountered comments as well and they only had four! I recently gave birth to our second and when people ask how many we’re planning to have, I tell them, “However many we end up with!” I love how that messes with their heads, because I’m sure they’re wondering how we could possibly want lots of kids.
One of our best arguments is the Word of God Himself, which says that children are a BLESSING. Psalm 127 compares them to arrows in the hand of a warrior (an interesting side note is that it specifically says the “children of one’s youth”–which is my argument against the popular “get married, focus on your career for several years, and THEN have 1 or 2 in your late 30s” mindset which so many people seem to have… besides, wouldn’t you rather chase a toddler while in your 20s than your 40s?). In any case, I know that if I’m in battle, I want as many arrows as I can get to fight against the enemy.
God bless the Duggars and comfort them, especially Michelle.
I do not hate the Duggars. I would much rather watch them with their 19 children thean the other show with less children. The Duggar children are taught manners, respect, and the love of each other. I KNOW that I could not have handled more than two children, so I chose not to have them. However, the Duggars have done a wonderful job,but I truly enjoy watching Jackson. That boy is something else. Duggars, you have done a good job
My heart goes out to the Duggars at this time. They are a family, and like any other family hurt and have feelings. It’s too bad there is so much negative, but you’re spot on for its cause. Any family, regardless of its size, is going to suffer persecution if it is truly living a Christlike life. As followers of Christ we need to realize that it is not us the world is rejecting, but our Saviour.
I admire large families and I didn’t get started early enough to have a large family, but having 20 or so children does not make you a good parent.
Love it! I completely and wholly agree! True Christianity is taboo in the world and they are unapologetic about it!
Cindy, First off I would like to thank you for your blog and let you know I have been reading you for awhile now, far before you were SO famous. ;o) Secondly, I would like to say that I enjoy watching the Duggars on the DVD’s I have and have learned a great deal from them regarding how to organize, manage and parent kids from their two books. I do agree with your original post that many of the reason the “World” hates the Duggars is a spiritual mater and many of their arguments are ludicrous. As I mentioned above, there are many things I admire about the Duggars but I am torn regarding the sheer number of children they have. In fact, my husband and I have had lengthy conversations about this. We both agree that children are a blessing from the Lord. Where I struggle is that it is the parent’s sole responsibility to “train” up a child in the way he should go. God gave the parents to direct and discipline, their own kids, it is not the other childrens right nor responsibility. In the latest episodes I have watched of the Duggars, I see ample times where the older Duggar girls are correcting and discipling the younger kids. When the whole system is reliant on the older kids shepherding the younger ones, I see flaws. Please understand, I am not referencing caring for their physical needs, but more for their spiritual. Nancy Wilson said it in her blog post today way more eloquently than I ever could. She was comparing a Mother’s role to that of a Pastor and his congregation. “The bigger the congregation, the bigger your duties. Learn to shoulder them. Getting help from the bigger kids may be great, but you can’t hand off your responsibilities to them; they are some of the sheep you are ministering to, not co-shepherds. Ultimately, I don’t hold too much stalk in opinions. Everyone has them. I try and compare my opinions as well as the opinions of others to the Scriptures. Personaly, I nor my husband see a mandate from scriptures saying that you must have an X number of children. Children are still a blessing whether you have one or twenty. God judges the heart and motives of individuals. You can have one child and want to stop for selfish reasons OR you can have twenty children and want to continue for selfish reasons. Only God can determine that. The Scriptures are clear though on who holds the responsibilty of correcting and shepherding those childs hearts.
Amen!!!! Beautifully said!!!! Agree with your 150% and then some more!!!!
And and a High 5 to your husband for standing up for you!!! Way to go!!!!
Praying for the Duggers!!!
Merry Christmas!!!
Nadya
The Duggars are honest, REAL, God-loving people who love one another & every one of their kids, who, incidentally, are home-schooled & talented. The world today isn’t capable of handling anything so clear & clean. NO divorces, NO his, hers & ours, NO drugs, NO fancy clothes, NO pre-marital sex (OMG!). They love one another, care for one another, & volunteer to help those who are in need. Their world is REALITY, as opposed to the Hollywood world of PRETEND!!!
What a varied bunch of comments. I really wish I hadn’t read some of them.
I just wanted to say that I agree that many in this world have been taught that having a family is just too much work, too much sacrifice, and too much money. How much they miss! While we all have the ability to choose our own situation, to one extent or another, I’m not sure that I would be as eager to marry and have children if I had come from a home where my parents divorced, or if I had been abused as a child, or if I believed everything I saw on television. But, for those of us who know the joy that comes from bearing and raising a houseful of wonderful children (even on the days when they seem a little less than wonderful), what a responsibility we have to help others see what a blessing it really is. How about not griping about our spouse when they aren’t (or are) around; how about telling others how great it is to have children, and invite them into our homes so they can be a part of it themselves. How about treating our families with love and respect, and helping to teach others to do so. Yes, there are many children in the world who need a home and a family, and there are ways to help them (we are currently looking at adopting a child or two out of the foster system–and there are thousands waiting for a family!), but that doesn’t mean we can’t bear and love and raise our own children. Let’s choose lift and help rather than tear down and criticise.
Despite my previous comments, I did just hear the news about her misscarriage, I send my thoughts to her and hope she is allright.
But why would you delete any comments you dont agree with? What is the point of having a discussion board if we have no freedome of speech?
I’m not! I’m only deleting nasty comments. Disagreement is quite welcome. I just don’t want to hear anything spoken about the child that died. That is beneath human decency. I said “nasty” comments, and nasty is precisely what I meant. :0)
First let me say- I love the Duggars. I think they are wonderful people, and their children are blessed to have them as parents. I do, however have misgivings about their having more children. The fact is a woman Michelles age has a MUCH higher chance of pregancy ending in complications or birth defect. At her age, the possiblity of a child born with downs is 1 in 100. That is a very high risk. My next concern is that they are in a way encouraging others to have children that they may NOT be able to afford or care for. Good people and even good parents sometimes get stressed to the point of ‘snapping’ and end up hurting their children. Last, as a former foster parent and an adoptive mom I cant help but think of how many children the Duggars could have adopted and given a home. There are THOUSANDS of children growing up in group homes that no one will adopt. I am truly sorry for the Duggars, and pray that God will comfort them during this time.
We’ve already hashed and rehashed the adoption thing. Suffice it to say that I’m unconvinced that the existence of one person on this earth is a good reason for denying existence to another.
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