How I Stopped Dithering and Learned to Love the Schedule

You know what drives me nuts? I’ve noticed that Christians (especially women, it seems) have a disturbing habit of finding a way of doing things that agrees with them—whether it be pregnancy and childbirth, cloth diapering, methods of education, or fad diets—and then, instead of sharing why they like this particular way of doing things, they slap a Bible verse on it and call it “God’s way”.  With a title like “Honoring God in the Details”, it would be easy to give the impression that I think I’ve got God’s own lifestyle going on over here. Well, I don’t. What I have is A) a problem and B) a solution that works for me.

While I understand the temptation to inspire others to try your favorite brand of (all-natural, Biblically-sound) peanut butter by claiming that Jesus himself endorsed it, I’d like to try to avoid doing that myself. To that end, ironically, I’m going to start this thing off with a Bible verse (sort of):

He who observes the day, observes it for the Lord, and he who eats, does so for the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who eats not, for the Lord he does not eat, and gives thanks to God. He who schedules, schedules for the Lord; and he who schedules not, for the Lord he schedules not, and gives thanks to God. For not one of us lives for himself, and not one dies for himself; for if we live, we live for the Lord, or if we die, we die for the Lord; therefore whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s.

(I may have made up some of that.)

As I’m sure you know, Paul didn’t actually say anything about scheduling in Romans; I just want to make the point that how you honor God in the details is a personal and individual matter. If you don’t make a written schedule, but you’ve still got your priorities in line, for goodness’ sake, don’t bother making a schedule! Jesus probably doesn’t care very much if you write this stuff down, unless that is the best way for you to fulfill the work He has given you to do.

Until recently, I’ve had a general idea of what my priorities should be, and I kind of kept them straight. My kids were fed and educated, my house wasn’t a health hazard, and we managed to arrive on time for most appointments. However, my poor planning and laziness caused a lot of important things to fall through the cracks.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve found myself standing in the kitchen on a school morning in my sock feet, thinking “What am I going to feed the kids for breakfast. I might be able to get in a few minutes of internet time before they get up, if I’m quiet. Hey, wait, wasn’t I supposed to have an article written for somebody by last night? Holy cow, I think I forgot a doctor appointment, too! Really wish I’d made it to that church function last week. I could have used the social time. And when was the last time I swept behind the dryer? Is all that lint a fire hazard?”

I was drowning in all the work I had to do. Even worse than the stress of trying to do everything at once was the guilt I carried from not getting it done. Standing around wondering what I should do first took up a lot more of my time than I care to admit. Fed up with my constant dithering, I decided to get myself organized. On paper. That’s something I said I’d never do, but I just couldn’t see any way around it.

Before I made my schedule, I did some preliminary brain-storming. I wrote down lists of all the jobs I have to do, things I’d like to include in my new schedule (like showering, which I do regularly, and exercising, which I do not), things that are non-negotiable (Bible study, time with Jesse), and things that take too much of my time (hello, Twitter!). I thought about what a perfect day would look like, and how I could realistically get my life closer to that goal.

Then, my priorities painfully laid out before me, I opened up my Open Office spreadsheet and got to work. This is my basic schedule for a day at home. It still needs a little tweaking. For instance, I find myself going to bed closer to 10, and have no idea why I put down 9:30 as my bedtime. Also, our outdoors time is usually a little later. It is mostly a good plan, though, and flexible enough that my whole day isn’t ruined if something doesn’t work out the way I’d planned. As you can see, everyone but my husband has a schedule, but I play it by ear with the little ones. Sometimes Ben doesn’t want to play with Audrey, and I don’t blame him.

Click to enlarge

My work, as I’m realizing after a good three years of denial, is too important to leave to chance. I am rather flighty, unfortunately, and need a firm hand to guide me in my day-to-day life. Without a schedule, I just drift whichever way my mood directs, and that direction is often 180 degrees from where I should be going. It is far too easy to say “Oh, I’ll mop later. Right now, I’d rather read blogs.”  Sure, I could mop later, but somehow that never seems to happen.

Now that I have it written down, though, I find it very easy to mop when I should because I can go read blogs later. It’s on the schedule! Yay!

You know what else is on the schedule? The eyes of everyone else in this house–and now everyone who reads this blog (all fourteen of you!). With a written schedule, there’s an element of accountability. I’m no longer the only one who knows about it if I’m neglecting outdoor play in favor of baking cookies. My seven year-old (the organized, self-motivated first-born) keeps one eye on the schedule and one eye on me so he doesn’t get shorted a single minute of his precious play time.

In addition to my daily schedule, I’m maintaining a cleaning schedule and a writing schedule (really important now that I’m doing freelance work). I’ve always done meal plans, but they’re working out better than they used to because I’ve planned for meal prep instead of just hoping I have time to do it. While there are times that things just don’t work out, for the most part, I’m keeping on track!

Maybe all this scheduling nonsense seems just a little too type-A for you. I know it seemed way too stuffy and uptight to me when I first considered it! But managing my life in this way has given me a lot of freedom that I didn’t have before. Instead of that nagging feeling that there’s something else I should be doing, I know where I’m supposed to be pretty much all the time. Instead of the guilt of trying to multitask by doing school and writing at the same time (because I didn’t go to bed at a reasonable hour and slept late, thus missing my quiet time when I normally write), I’m able to be fully engaged with the children when they need me.

I can now look at my schedules and give a definite yes or no to outside work and other obligations. I once thought of a schedule as bondage, but I am freer with these “chains” than I ever was without them!

Check out the rest of these blogs for more thoughts on getting and keeping your life in order:

Jimmie’s Collage- Meal Planning for Well Ordered Days

Raising Arrows- How You Spend Your Time Matters

Somewhat Crunchy- Chores ‘Round Here – The Teen Schedule

A Slob Comes Clean- When Life Happens and Your Schedule Stops Working

Finding Joy- The Flexible Schedule. It’s Possible.

Spell Outloud- Do Toddlers and Well-Ordered Days Mix?

Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers- Scheduling Time with Your Husband

Many Little Blessings- Finding time for Creative Endeavors

Catholic Icing- Creating A Schedule Your Family Can Thrive On!

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