Now that Abby Sunderland has been found alive and well, and is on her way home, (or is she already home?) it seems to be time to start picking apart the actions of her parents. Reactions have been varied. Some think her parents should be hung at high noon, while others think both the parents and the daughter are extremely brave.
I’m firmly in Abby’s corner. I’m a fan of chasing big dreams–especially when they’re dreams no one else is likely to understand. Happiness has never been found hiding under a bed. Abby wanted to follow her passion. She made an attempt at something most people think is wildly insane. I have a hunch she’ll do big things for the rest of her life, and I congratulate her parents for encouraging her and not crushing her spirit. I don’t know that I would be brave enough to let my kids attempt such a dangerous thing. I hope I would, because I never, ever want to hold them back from any wholesome ambition–provided they had the requisite skills, of course.
Sailing solo around the world is a dangerous undertaking, but at least it was only physically dangerous. Considering the kind of spiritual danger we put even very young children in just by turning on the television or letting them go to the wrong neighbor’s house to play, I think we may just have some priorities confused as parents in this nation. When we’d judge these parents for letting their daughter do something perfectly virtuous that she’s passionate about, but excuse the same people if they let her go to an after-prom party where she was certain to witness or participate in activities that would make all but the most hardened among us blush, I’d say we’ve got a pretty foggy definition of negligence. By my standards, most American parents are, in fact, quite negligent, while Abby’s parents have got the right idea (AFAIK!).
I know that if I’d been doing something like that at 16, instead of what I was doing (no details, but it was not a good scene) I would have been a lot better off. I might have died, sure. But I assure you, I was even less likely to get out of my teenage years alive than Abby is! God is merciful, or I would be dead. I can recall several times when I should have been killed, and twice when I was truly at death’s door. But no one ever called my parents neglectful, did they? No, because I was just rebelling, and that, somehow, is to be expected and understood. At least Abby’s parents knew (in a vague sense) what she was doing. At least they weren’t allowing her to endanger her soul. (Please note that my parents loved me and wanted nothing but the best for me. I really don’t know their side of it, but I don’t condemn them. I know they did the best they knew how to do.)
Yes, sailing solo around the world is dangerous. But I’d let my kids do that before I’d send them solo into this cesspool of a culture.
(My thanks to Dr. Helen for the blog-fodder. This story wasn’t even on my radar! That’s what I get for not having TV.)
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
I tend to agree with you, Cindy. Nice post!
And lest we forget; Abby’s parents are shipmakers.
They are uniquely gifted to prepare their children for the task in question; the youngest brother could sail before he could ride a bike.
Before we rail on in our judgments on these people, let’s learn from them. Are we preparing our children for the world as well as these fine people (Christians, btw) are preparing their children for the oceans?
This goes to show that a child doesn’t belong to society, but to a family. It was the family’s call on whether or not she was capable. Our collectivist mentality sees a potential taxpayer yet to “contribute to society”.
I think these parents would have never let their baby take this trip if they didnt think she was ready. Its hard for people to understand when they dont live someone elses life. The only thing that scared me was thinking of all those pirates that are off of the coast of Africa causing all the trouble. I think she was far away from that but she is so cute. That is the only scary thought I had.
O forgot this Still working down the UBP list http://postpartumillness.com
I am 100% in agreement with you. I don’t know that I would have been brave enough to let my daughter do something so huge, but I’m glad that the Sunderlands were brave enough to let Abby chase her dream.