My Sons’ First Love

Our oldest son came to the kitchen to kiss me goodnight tonight, since I was knee-deep in dishes from the unplanned (yeah, I’m crazy) baking and freezing day I subjected myself to, and couldn’t put them to bed myself. As he ran out, I asked him to send his brother in for a goodnight kiss. “Yes, ma’am!”, he said, and ran back to the bedroom to say his prayers.

When Jonah came to the kitchen, he sidled in in his usual shy way. He’s so quiet he’s easy to miss, so I almost didn’t see him. When I finally noticed him, I hugged him hard, because I’m so afraid he won’t know how much I love him. Then he asked me for a kiss, and I gave him one, quite happily. Running back to his waiting father, he said in the sweetest way, “She KISSED me!”

And it made me wonder just what it is that I’m teaching my boys about love. Right now, I’m the picture they have in their heads when they think of wives. David has already declared that he is going to marry me when he grows up. I know they’ll learn how to treat a woman by watching the way their father treats me. But what are they learning about how their wives will relate to them? I don’t know, honestly, but I hope I can be the kind of woman I want my sons to marry.

I’m not the kind of girl I would choose for them, unfortunately. I’m not gentle and quiet and wise. I’m not talented in any particular thing, though I do make good bread. I’m not even nice, half the time. I guess I’d better learn to behave myself, before my sons start to think this is how women are supposed to be, huh?

I wonder what they’ll learn from me? I wonder what kind of girls they’ll choose. I wonder how long it will be before that little boy who was so thrilled to get a little kiss from me is singing that same song in a deeper voice about some pretty girl he just met. And I wonder how I’ll handle it. I don’t think I’m going to handle that very well.