First, I might should clear up something. If I led you to believe that I have a bad life or that I blame homeschooling for it, neither is true. I’m sorry that was the impression I gave. Maybe I should clarify that. I have 2 fantastic children, a good marriage, an upper middle class lifestyle and have a house that I am not “underwater” in financially. I am happy, and have worked to have success in the corporate world. However after my last child, I was laid off and I am currently a stay at home mother. I consider myself blessed.

My point in the post, and in this comment, was to point out that the question “Should I Homeschool?” is usually written by already homeschooled parents and contains only pros or positive arguements. If a con is listed, it is usually immediately refuted and is turned into a pro. The only time cons are discussed are people EXTREMELY OPPOSED to the homeschooling movement. I wrote that phrase in caps because they are usually yelling

Sure there are cons to public school. Many cons. But those are all very well detailed on pro homeschooling websites.

I won’t refute each of your points because you are entitled to you own opinion and I am not questioning your motivations or choices for the wellbeing of your child. I will refute one. Being in the gifted program when I was in public elementary school and the decent grades I got in college are proof that I should have been able to excel in learning in high school and avoid remedial classes)

One further thought I will leave you with is in response to your thoughts on worldview shaping. While I commend you on your instillation of Christian values and morals to your children, it might be dangerous for them to first meet adversity and challenges to their faith in college or around college age. Your faith is not truly “yours” until you choice it, and for my children I feel it important to be physically present to give guidance and council as they encounter their first situations to test their faith – instead of miles away while they are in a college dorm.

Thanks again for your response and the ability to freely discuss this topic. I wish you and your children nothing but successes.

1) Extracurriculars and Competition
Sounds like your parents didn’t try very hard to help you find your bliss or your identity, or whatever the kids are calling it these days. I’ll just come right out and say that I think they screwed up. But so did mine, and I went to school. They didn’t have the money for extras. Then the one time they did find the money (band) I had no encouragement or support. I quit. I could have been good at something (was, in fact), but the people closest to me failed to see my potential and wouldn’t make me stick it out. Parents screw up. All parents. Even public school parents.

2) Inability to grasp difficult subject material. That can happen to anybody, publicly educated or not. “Difficult”means that mastery by an average person isn’t likely, even with great teachers. It’s kind of unavoidable. Being in a classroom doesn’t raise a person’s IQ.

It is up to parents to ensure that everything is being done to help a child. I have no compunction about hiring tutors if I can’t figure out how to help my child with a difficult subject. I may even hire a teacher! Sending my kids to a classroom with 20 other kids the teacher also doesn’t have time to help doesn’t sound like much of a solution.

3) The Popular “Lack of Socialization” Discussion

I’ll just point out that millions of people worldwide have managed to get engaged and married without ever having been on what our society calls “a date”. Many of those people were homeschooled right here in the good old US of A. I’m sorry if you’ve been unhappy with your social life, but I doubt that choice of school was the deciding factor in that. I went to public school, and was equally clueless. Worse, I had no one to guide me, and ended up in some pretty devastating situations. Some parents don’t do a very good job when their children enter young adulthood. That has little to do with their means of education. Further, if you think there is any value in teenage dating practices, you may be a little naive about what happens on many (not all!) teenage dates. If so, good for you! It’s not an experience that helps a person grow to healthy adulthood.

“While a homeschooled student might be able to learn how to be polite and talk to others without issue, they show naivety when they get to a work setting.” Again, I know a lot of public school kids with the same problem. Some people are clueless. School and the workplace don’t function very much alike (for one thing, if you don’t work at school, they “work with you”; if you don’t work at work, they fire you), so I fail to see how sending kid to school can fix this. If you’re talking about feeling out place, then you’d probably have felt that way in public school, too! I did. I’m not saying that kids shouldn’t be exposed to the wider culture so they won’t feel like complete outsiders when they get into the work world, but you’ve failed to convince me with this particular argument.

4) Loss of Mentoring Opportunities Most Success Stories Contain the Teacher That Changed Their World View.

My problem with this is two-fold. 1) I see no reason why that teacher can’t also be a parent. Most success stories contain a parent or two, don’t they? AND 2) I don’t want anyone to change my children’s worldview! I want to teach them Christ, and him crucified! I have not only a desire, but a duty to teach my children what I believe to be true. Every parent does. If you disagree, then teach your own kids something different.

I’m not going to send my kids out to school every day just hoping there’s an extraordinary teacher who can make all my dreams for them come true. The problem with extraordinary teachers is that they are hard to find! I’m not leaving my kids’ futures up to chance.

When they are grown, they will be free to follow their own hearts. I plan to expose them to opposing views with honesty, but I’m gonna make sure that I’m there to tell them what I think about these new and exciting philosophies also.

I’m confident that I can teach them to act on their own consciences, just as my parents taught me. I’m not exactly raising my children according to their values, but they respect my right to disagree, and I’ll do the same for my grown children.

5) Repercussions Through College and Work Life

This one seems to be based solely on your parents’ choice in curriculum. Good materials are an absolute necessity. I’m sorry there were gaps in your education. There were “gaps” in mine, too. No education is complete just because somebody gives you a mortarboard and says you’re done now. Also, I’ll just point out that something like 60% of college freshmen require remedial classes. It ain’t just you, hun.

At the risk of offending you, I have to say that it sounds like you’re blaming homeschooling for not giving you that wonderful life that you think everyone else had. Most of these problems may have more to do with your nature than with where you went to school. I don’t know you at all, but I do know a lot of other people with these same complaints. And not one of them was homeschooled.

My brother in law once said all the homeschooled kids he knew were weird. Funny, all the weird kids I know went to public school. My point isn’t that public school makes you weird. My point is that everyone has a less than ideal outcome in life. Absolutely everybody. Life is hard no matter who teaches you your ABC. Since you were kind enough to retitle my post for me, I’ll return the favor. I suggest renaming yours to “Disadvantages of Being Raised by Fallible Human Beings”.

While I’m sure that you made the decision that was best for your child, I think parents are used to defending their choice and fall into the rhetoric of “I did what was right for my family” or as you allude to “not living the lifestyle of the typical American family”.

While the whole family participates, the person that will have to live with the choice and the repercussions it brings for the rest of their life is your child – not the parent. Please listen to the perspective of homeschooled adults that aren’t at your local homeschool conference. I wrote about homeschooling disadvantages and my experiences.

These little people really do belong to us, and accepting responsibility for them is very important in making the kind of commitment it takes to home school.

Cindy works very hard at what she does, and it shows in our children. I knew she was capable of it, but that doesn’t diminish my pride in her and our kids.

As far as the thick skin goes, you might surprise yourself. I think parents who really do take responsibility for their kids thicken up a bit; you have to in order to handle discipline.

Good luck!

YES! I was telling my hubby today that I LOVE the thought of learning with little man! That I would truly be “smarter than a 5th grader” I have actually been considering getting my bachelors in education (instead of Nursing) before even considering homeschool because I have always wanted to be a teacher. My little man is already exceptionally bright. At two(his bday was in Aug), he can spell his name and recognize almost all letters of the alphabet, and can spout off his vowels like crazy lol. Why??? Because I taught him. Thats enough to make any mama proud.

As far as the sheltering issue that was brought up on my dear friends blog- I don’t WANT to shelter my lil man from anything but I do want him to go to heaven. Simple as that. He needs to learn the MOST important education that ANY HUMAN can learn-whether they are 90 or 9. (or one but you know what I mean)

Anyway-great post. Thanks for it. I dont have thick skin for much, but when it comes to my child I do. Bottom line- he is MINE, I know what is best for him and it is OUR decision to make as a family.