Permission to Be Ordinary

This is a re-post from a post published first on May 11, 2014. Since homeschooling has become the thing to do, even with families who are not academically inclined at all, I think it bears repeating: Homeschooling is not justified by its academic or career results. Those things are nice, but they are not the point.

Homeschooling is going mainstream, and we’re about to lose one of our favorite arguments for it. 

Homeschooling is kind of an extraordinary thing to do, isn’t it? Even with the rapidly rising numbers of homeschooling families each year, we’re still in the minority (for now). Nearly every weekday outing I take with my kids requires me to explain to someone why my older children aren’t in school. People still don’t think of children staying with their mothers all day as a very normal thing. Parents just aren’t qualified to raise kids, you know.

When we think of homeschooling, we still think of violin-playing spelling bee champions with 140 IQ’s who were just too smart for normal school. And you know what? There really are a lot of home educated kids like that! It isn’t at all surprising that homeschoolers like to promote as much good press as we can for ourselves.

Stories in the news like this family with seven kids in college, all by the time they were twelve years old, and blog posts asserting that homeschooled kids are 120% more smarter than public schooled kids are constantly circulating the web, not because those are our best reasons for homeschooling, but because associating ourselves with such an outstanding group of people easily, if fallaciously, counters the arguments of which we grow so weary.

“You’re not qualified.”
“They’ll never get into college.”
“Homeschoolers are bad at math.”

Just a few weeks ago I had to listen to my neighbor explain to me that I can’t possibly teach my children math in the higher grades, so I’d better be ready to send them to school by eighth grade. (I’ve learned to just nod my head and pretend that I’m going to take that brand-new, brilliant idea into consideration. I really don’t care what the neighbors think.)

We homeschoolers love this kind of evidence that homeschooling “works” because pointing to other people’s results is a lot easier than explaining our core reasons for keeping our children at home. Our motives are good and wholesome and altogether defensible, but because we live in a society that scarcely even understands what education is for, those points also take longer to explain and upset people more often than the academic argument.

I have to wonder, though, if we’re not accidentally making the task of defending our choice harder by using these kinds of things to bolster our case. You see, our stellar statistics and outliers like the “Brainy Bunch” family set some unrealistic expectations for normal kids. The first generation of homeschoolers was almost certainly an unusual group of people. It seems to me that they required a unique set of characteristics–qualities that usually go hand-in-hand with high intelligence and academic achievement–to be able to boost the homeschooling movement from the gravitational pull of traditional education. That first generation had, at the very least, enough imagination to dream it up, confidence to follow through, ingenuity to figure out how, resourcefulness to keep it going under pressure, and courage to fight the courts and social stigma.

As homeschooling becomes more mainstream, though, we are going to see some regression to the mean (though I doubt that we could ever regress to the abysmal performance of public schools). Because homeschooling really is a viable and superior alternative, and for reasons that have little to do with math, more and more parents who would never have considered such a thing before are going to jump on the bandwagon.

Those stellar statistics are going to level out, homeschoolers.  At some point, our neighbors are probably going to notice that some of us are pretty awful at math and science, and most of our children are going to trade schools or straight to the workforce instead of to Harvard. For that reason, it would be good if we kept our debating skills sharp, so that we can explain why homeschooling is well within our rights, regardless of our outcomes. If our best defense of home education is that other homeschoolers are really smart, we are sunk, because most of us are going to be graduating children who become ordinary people.

And that’s OK. Cashiers and plumbers, homemakers and factory workers are every bit as necessary to the functioning of society as engineers and political leaders. Homeschoolers, as much as we cheer for greatness and excellence, and hope to see our children attain the absolute pinnacle of their personal capabilities, we need to give ourselves permission to be ordinary. The rightness of our choice to raise our own children isn’t predicated on our academic results or our children’s future earnings. It is based solely in our right and responsibility to raise our own children for the Glory of God. (Yes, I am aware that many people homeschool without any religious purpose, but they still have that right and responsibility, whether they know it or not.)

If we don’t keep our focus on that first principle, we’re going to make life mighty hard for our kids who are better at bricklaying than calculus. Not only that, but we might find our right to raise our own children, so hard won by the first generation of homeschoolers, diminished by our own focus on the wrong point. We need to speak the language of liberty when we defend our choices, rather than flashing the gaudy plumage of worldly success.

Test scores may temporarily dazzle our opponents into silence, but they will not stand the test of time like the simple truths of God-given rights and individual responsibility.

Why Would a Carnivore Use a Collagen Supplement?

I thought this diet was perfect!

I recently gave a list of the foods of which my diet consists, and it included collagen powder. Carnivore purists would scoff at a number of things on my list, including that one, even if it is an animal-based food. Why? Because you can get collagen from meat! Why are you wasting your money?  Just include the gristle and chewy parts and have lots of bone broth instead of an expensive powder, they’d say. And they’d be right. You can certainly get plenty of collagen that way.

But you also might not get enough collagen that way. Or you might not be able to eat that way consistently. Or you might just want to be very sure of the minimum amount of collagen you’re getting, and that amount will always vary in foods.

I don’t like to drink a lot of bone broth. I don’t need a lot of extra liquid in my day, and I really just don’t enjoy a cup of bone broth unless I’m cold or have a sore throat. More importantly, because of my histamine sensitivities, long-cooked foods tend to make me itch in unmentionable places, so I don’t want to drink bone broth every day. And the chewy, slimy, gristly bits are–I’m sorry, I can’t grow up about this–gross. So is chicken skin, unless it’s very, very crispy. I’ll eat that, but it’s not happening every day. I’m mostly a beef girl.

Stronger skin, hair and nails. My hair and nails seem to me to be stronger when I include collagen, and it promotes wound healing, so I’m keeping it.

I’m getting older, just like everybody else. 

If only he’d been taking collagen all these years…

As we age, our bodies have a harder and harder time utilizing the protein we eat. We need more protein, not less, as our bodies become less efficient. (That’s a good YT video in the link.)

At the same time, our appetites decrease. In my case, I don’t seem to have reached that stage yet. I eat like a very hungry bear (I almost said “horse”, but no grains here). But I do want to maintain my current fat percentage, and I’m still hoping against hope to recompose away this last bit of floppy mommy-belly, so simply eating more isn’t going to work for my needs. It stands to reason that, if I can get an extra serving or two of collagen in some way that is easy for my body to absorb, but doesn’t add another 6 ounces of meat to my already-full plate, I can benefit from that.

I haven’t gotten too far into that senior category yet, but I am at the age where we start seeing the fine lines and wrinkles. Well, you see the fine lines and wrinkles. I can’t see me at all without a magnifying mirror because now I need glasses, too. Even carnivores are going to age and die. I’m on my way to that fair land!

I do credit my meat-heavy diet for my younger-than-my-age looks, though. Unless everybody I know is lying to me, I don’t look my age, nor do I look like I’ve had and nursed eight babies. When I look in the mirror, I see a forty-five year old woman. But I’ve been told many times, almost every time I go out, that I look ten years younger. I didn’t always use collagen, so it’s probably more the general healthy lifestyle I’m living, but…well, I’m vain. I want to hold onto that for as long as I can, and if a supplement of collagen might help with that, I’m doing it!

Now, if you see me out sometime and think I look my age or more, I understand. I think so, too. But be nice. Let me keep this dream going, ok?

Are there contraindications? Well, you can exacerbate kidney stones and other oxalate problems in some cases. Collagen can turn to oxalate in the body, and some individuals are more prone to overproduce their own oxalate already. And, as with so many other things, insulin resistance makes oxalate problems far more likely, so if you’re on a carnivore diet, a higher collagen intake is probably (in my fairly educated opinion) far less risky than if you’re dumping it on top of a high-carb diet. Nonetheless, if you are doing a carnivore way of eating to reduce kidney stones or other oxalate-related health problems, I wouldn’t advise taking extra collagen. Just eat the gristly bits and skin, like the carnivores say.

Now, why isn’t this diet perfect without supplements? For some people, I do think it is! If somebody is young enough when they get started, or if they had been fairly healthy beforehand, and if they’ve got every other health factor, like sunshine, exercise, sleep, etc., nailed down, or if they’re just lucky and haven’t suffered much impact from their standard diet yet, everything they need, and nothing they don’t need, should be found in meat. But some of us–probably most of us–do have farther to go to get to optimal health, and carry a bigger burden from our years of plant food, and can use a little extra help.

Collagen is one of those supplements that I find more likely to be useful than not.

Are You Scared of Failing?

Or maybe even succeeding?

I write a blog post just about every time I run. But I only actually publish a post occasionally, those few times I think there might be a thought in there that would benefit or entertain somebody besides myself. I think maybe I’ve got one for somebody today!

 

Me “failing”

Thank goodness the sun came out today! I was getting tired of the treadmill, as it gives me a stiff knee. (By the way, if you know anybody who bought a treadmill to fulfill their New Year’s resolution, and then decided they don’t want it, I’d be happy to take that thing off their hands.) I did a base run of 4 miles this afternoon. I did about a 12:43 average pace, finishing in 51 minutes, and I found it an easy thing to do. My top speed was 8:54, and I hated to slow down when my watch beeped at me to knock it off. I love running faster than I should. This is a character problem, most likely.

Anyhow, while I was running, I was thinking about how, when I first decided to put on some shoes and stop moving so slowly through the world, this speed was very hard for me to maintain for more than a few minutes. Now? I can maintain a 9 min/mile speed for the same length of time that I used to sustain only 13. I expect someday, I don’t know when, to maintain a 10 minute pace with the same amount of effort I put in this afternoon. My heart rate was still a little higher than I like, but I’m making good progress with my Zone 2 workouts, too!

I do know that I’m getting older and I’m going to top out somewhere, but I don’t know where, nor when. I’m just enjoying the journey.

I’ve seen a wonderful improvement in both running and weight lifting in the last few years. I am proud of that, and I’m looking forward to being even more proud of myself in the future! I love this stuff! Many people, maybe even most, do not value what I’m doing in the slightest. That’s fine by me.

I got a really ugly comment a while back (on this Run Dump), from someone who apparently does not love this stuff. Nor does this person like me. The gist of the comment, without the profanity, was that I should give up…something. I couldn’t tell if the person wanted me to give up blogging, carnivore, running, or something else. But it was clear that she wants me to quit something I’m doing, right now! Because she thinks I’m stupid. I felt kinda sorry for her, because the only way you get this way is if you are, yourself, terrified of what other people might say about you. I don’t know who hurt this person, but it wasn’t me, and I am sorry to see a soul that stunted. Say a prayer for “notanidiot”, if you have time. There’s a lot of pain in there.

Now, I’m not saying all that so we can pile on notanidiot. This post ain’t for her. I’m saying it because I wonder how many people out there who might come across this post are afraid to try something hard, afraid to tell people what their goals are, afraid to let others know where they’ve failed, or worse, succeeded, because there are voices like this in their lives. If there’s one like this, there are a million, right? Good Lord, they might all come comment here! What then?

You might have a parent or sibling who talks to you like that, or a boss, or a “friend”. If so, I want to encourage you to do what you want to do, regardless of somebody else’s broken way of looking at you. And it is broken, I promise.

Projection is a funny thing.

If a stranger said something like this to you, would it hurt? Forget about the people who know you for a moment. What about a stranger on the internet, or in a grocery store, or at a race? I’ve made a lot of weird choices with my life, and I am fully aware of the criticism, and subsequent mental anguish, that comes with getting out of step with the rest of the herd. But the farther from the center of your life a person is, the less these kinds of statements should hurt, if you’re in a healthy mental state yourself.

Sadly, for many, it hurts just as much coming from random people as it would from their own mothers! We might even think that “random” equals “objective”, so randos must be more right than people who know us. This is faulty thinking, and I hope you’ll learn to recognize it when you fall into that trap.

The only reason this person even bothered to leave the comment was because she wanted to hurt me as much as something I said must have hurt her. You don’t waste time reading a very long blog post to which you can’t relate at all. There was something in that post that triggered her bad feelings about herself. She couldn’t have those feelings about me, because I don’t really exist. I’m just pixels on a page, until she realizes me through reading my thoughts. I was her random stranger, and she couldn’t bear what I must think of her!

But what she said couldn’t hurt me. It certainly couldn’t cause me to give up!

I realize, though, that I’ve known a lot of people who would give up at the slightest criticism. Sometimes they might give up before they even get started because they’re afraid of being laughed at or despised by people like this commenter. I haven’t experienced that feeling since I was fairly young–maybe my early twenties–because, thank God, I’ve been surrounded by encouraging and loving people who wouldn’t dream of trying to tear me down like that. Even that one person in my life who did try to tear me down wasn’t successful at it, because I was too well-loved by others to realize that I was even a target. I’m grateful for that. Some people never have that kind of love and stability in their families.

I just want to encourage those of you who might have a voice like that in your head–the voice that says “You aren’t as good as that other person.” or “Give up, you look stupid (or selfish, or ugly, or whatever).” or “Nobody’s ever going to care about this, why do you?” That other person is broken. Don’t let them break you, too.

Just go do the thing, whatever it is, that calls out to your spirit. It doesn’t have to please or impress anybody else. It especially doesn’t have to please or impress random people who don’t even know you. Strangely, that is often the person you fear the most! The young person lapping you at the half marathon might be a sweetheart with a kind word to encourage you (I’ve had that happen), or a bystander might laugh at you for being at the back of the pack and losing ground rapidly (I’ve had that happen, too). While my heart went out to each of those people in a different way, it did not affect me. It doesn’t have to make me slow down or stop, or even speed up! I admit I do sometimes have an “I’ll show you” attitude that lights a little fire under me sometimes, but it doesn’t go to my heart as something about me. I know it’s about them, and what’s in their heads, and it ultimately means nothing to me–unless I want to use it for a blog post or something.

If I had given up running, I could never have improved my running times or my health to this extent. I’d have missed out on a lot of fun and a lot of challenges, some of which I have very publicly failed. If I had given up blogging, I would never have known several readers who have become my friends over the years. There would be fewer people in the world understanding some of the things I think I have a grasp on and wish to share. And, what I am most proud of, there would be several fewer Christian babies in the world, because my blogging, stupid as it makes me look sometimes, has encouraged many young families to grow. You can’t take that away from me with ugly words.

If I had given up any of the things for which I’ve been criticized over the years, I’d be a completely different person right now. And I don’t think I’d like myself very much.

Conversely, if I had given up…whatever…I never would have had to hear such unflattering words about myself. I never would have had a stronger, faster person sneer at me. Never would have heard anybody tell me anything I didn’t want to hear about my looks or my health. I could go through my life like that, always keeping my head down, hiding, putting on the best face so nobody could see the flaws, giving up if others don’t see the value in what I’m doing.

But those flaws would still be there, and I’d be no better than I was in the beginning. I would just be fooling myself, basing my self-image on a mere idea that is named “Cindy” in other people’s minds. Why would you let yourself live like that? Yet, I can see that many do.

Maybe you’re scared to do something: carnivore, a new career, a different sport, a new musical instrument, dance lessons. Don’t let external voices–positive or negative–mean anything to your behavior. You don’t want to get into the habit of chasing praise any more than you want to avoid criticism! You just want to do The Thing, whatever it is.

It might sting a little at first to encounter the unpleasantness that will surely come your way from others, but as you see your goals coming nearer, even that little pain will be gone. This isn’t about other people’s idea of who you are. It’s about who you want to be, and who God wants you to be. He cares about these little things, even if nobody else does.

Carnivore Breakfast Waffles II

This is an updated version of Carnivore Waffles, made with pork panko instead of sausage. I prefer the fluffiness of these, but the kids prefer the original version. The allulose sweetener is optional. It doesn’t do much to sweeten the waffle, but I’ve found it to be a great browning agent!

Carnivore Waffles

Animal-based waffles
Prep Time5 minutes
Cook Time20 minutes
Course: Breakfast
Cuisine: Carnivore
Keyword: carnivore, keto, low carb
Servings: 8

Equipment

  • waffle maker

Ingredients

  • 11 eggs
  • 10.5 oz pork panko or crushed bagged pork rinds
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1 tsp baking powder omit for strict carnivore
  • 1 tsp beef gelatin optional. Improves texture
  • 1/2 cup water optional, do not use if skipping gelatin
  • 1/4 cup liquid allulose optional, promotes browning

Instructions

  • Sprinkle gelatin over water and let sit to "bloom".
  • Mix panko, baking powder (if desired), and salt.
  • Whisk together eggs, gelatin, and allulose.
  • Add the dry mixture to the wet and mix well.
  • Cook, 1/2 cup at a time, in a waffle maker on its highest setting.
  • Remove finished waffles to an oven on 200˚ F to keep warm until ready to serve.

Notes

This recipe easily doubles and triples to feed a crowd.

Enjoy!

Having a Hard Time at the Fridge?

Do yourself a favor if you’re trying to go carnivore. Make a list of the foods you CAN eat. Put it on the fridge or the pantry door. Here’s my current list.

  • Beef
  • Butter
  • Tallow
  • Salt
  • Coffee
  • MCT oil
  • Bacon
  • Eggs (Chicken and Duck)
  • Sardines
  • Cod liver
  • Salmon
  • Shrimp
  • Chicken (very occasional)
  • Pork (also occasional)
  • Seaweed snacks
  • Collagen powder

You’ll note that there are some plants and plant products in mine. Those are no harm to me that I can detect, and they make things more interesting. And there’s a supplement of collagen powder that a purist carnivore would scoff at as unnecessary. We’ll talk about that later.

There’s nothing on the list that I could eat, but don’t want to, like oysters. Yuck. It’s just what I like. I can add or subtract things to it any time I want, except while hungry. Do not decide to write something on your list just because you want it right now. Only add a food once you’ve decided, rationally and not in a fit of hunger, that it will help you reach your goals.

Why make a list, though? It’s not hard to remember this stuff, is it? But you can trip yourself up looking in the fridge and thinking, “Oh, that’s pretty close to carnivore. It has honey, but honey is an animal product, so it’s fine!” or “I used to eat these and can’t remember what the harm was. I’ll just stick that in my mouth.” And the next thing you know, whatever the harm was–let’s say it was collard greens and you had anxiety and OCD within a few hours–you now remember all too well.

I find that the visual reminder helps me to not ignore my commitment in a moment of mental weakness. I’ve been carnivore for seven years now. I ought to have the perfect hang of it, and a lot of people are just perfect about sticking to it. But I’m denying myself some foods that I enjoy that are “healthy” foods. I love to eat greens! I can eat them with society’s full approval. Good girl, eating your vegetables! Sometimes it still takes a little willpower. The list gives me visual a reminder that there is a LOT of stuff I enjoy that I can reach for instead of the bad for me stuff that I’m tempted to eat.

Also, other people can see your list. If you have a nine year-old, especially, you will never be able to put a bite of food in your mouth again without realizing that somebody could catch you being this weak. “Mommy, I don’t think that food is on your list!” I don’t know if that’s a motivator for everybody, but I do not like having other people see me weak. Maybe that’s a bad thing, but I can use this character flaw to my advantage and let it help me keep to my plan.

You don’t have to do it forever. I only do it occasionally, when I’m feeling particularly weak. After holidays (because I do walk a little off the path on special occasions), or when I’ve loosened up too much with definitions (those Epic salmon strips are sweetened with maple syrup, and gosh they’re yummy!). Sometimes I have to get myself back in line. I wish we could all be Kelly Hogan, and just never look back, but some of us are a little more swayable than others.

Keep a reminder close by if you’re struggling at the fridge.

Happy New Year 2025!

Gosh, it’s time to update the narrative again.

I’ve been thinking about doing a New Year’s post for several days. I wanted to talk about resolutions, especially dietary ones, and find a way to encourage people to make the changes they’re already thinking about making. I guess it’s become a little bit of a ministry for me to tout a healthy lifestyle. So much so that I get to hear many confessions from people about their habits. They admit that they need to “go keto” or get more exercise or whatever. These are good paths for them to explore, and I really do want to encourage them, especially after the Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations, that they can and should do these things. The benefits are worth every effort!

I think it’s a fine, human thing to both mark the seasons gone by and to look ahead to the next year. No mere animal can do that. Forward and backward thinking is one mark of human ensoulment. I have grumbled at other times about the pointlessness of picking a day for everybody to get started on new habits, or ditch old ones, as if we all turned over a new leaf with the calendar page. But I can see both sides of it. If you’re not going to pick a day, you’ll never get started, will you? Why not have a day set aside for everybody to think about that?

But after a rough year–and our neck of the woods has certainly seen a rough year–, you might not be ready for any big changes, no matter how beneficial they might be. I’m certainly not.

Instead of changing things drastically, how about just doing a Narrative update?

Might take a little explainin’.

You see, we all have a Narrative we tell ourselves about our lives. Our personalities, our relationships, our routines are all kept in our minds, in a personal Story–a story only the individual and the Creator really have access to. No matter what I tell people about myself, no matter what others observe in me, my Narrative will never match theirs about me, nor will it ever be 100% true. People are inconsistent, and that’s not hypocrisy. It’s just reality. We’re limited in our understanding, and that includes how we understand ourselves.

My Narrative has been that I am a Jesus-loving, large-family mothering, homeschooling, meat-eating, fitness-interested woman of a certain age. There are other aspects to my Narrative that I wouldn’t share with anybody, that I haven’t even named for myself yet. I have a lot of growing and learning to do in all of my things, but that’s been my Story.

If you asked someone else if the aforementioned list looks correct from their perspective, I don’t know what you’d get. I know that God would know my Story better than I do. He’d have a lot of changes to make. My husband would probably add or subtract some of that list in favor of his own Narrative, which only includes me as a (very important) character. He can’t know my whole Story, and I can’t know his! He might say I’m all that, and a bag of chips, or he might notice the times I ate a plant and say “yeah, not really a carnivore”. People farther out from my life–friends, neighbors, haters–are going to have an even differenter view of my Narrative. They’re going to find all kinds of holes in me that aren’t even on my radar. That’s fine!

It’s not about making your Story line up with anybody else’s idea of you. It’s about making my actions true to my thinking. My New Year’s question–not resolution, for which I have no strength right now–, is this:

How accurate is my own Narrative compared to what I’m really doing?

Maybe you’re feeling like this year just brutally beat you up, and you don’t have the strength to throw yourself into one big resolution, or even a small one. Losing the weight, or finding more time to volunteer, or learning to play an instrument are all fine goals, but if your Narrative is out of whack, you’re not even going to start out in the right direction, let alone get anywhere.

Instead of saying you’re going to lose forty pounds, somehow, why not just do a Narrative Check-up? What is it about what you’re telling yourself (this food benefits me in some way) that is making you unable to do the thing you need to do (not eat this food)? Why not update your Narrative? This food is addictive for me, and I have to fight this addiction. You can only do something about it when you see it for what it really is. You are not a “comfort-food lover”. You are a carb addict.

This isn’t just about food, though. Interrogate yourself about every aspect of your life.

Do I love Jesus? Do I just go to church and put some money in the offering plate and sing the songs without allowing any effect on my heart? Have I lost my first love? I could remedy that by spending a half hour praying and reading the Bible every day instead of jumping straight to the internet to read the news. I could find a Bible study or prayer meeting to attend weekly. I could just ask Jesus to come closer to me, even as I am struggling to draw nearer to Him.

Or I could update that narrative and just stop pretending to love Jesus. (Oh, my heart, that hurts to even type! Whatever you do, don’t do that!) If something hurts like that, it’s a sign that you need to true up your behavior with your Narrative.

The Narrative is not false, therefore you CAN live up to it!

Or suppose my narrative is that I’m learning to play the piano. But I haven’t actually touched it in six weeks, and my progress hasn’t been good in months. Is this a chapter of my Narrative that needs to close? Am I truly a learner who’s merely hit a temporary stall? Or do I actually not have that kind of time, and lack the neuro-plasticity at my advanced age? If so, that’s going to have to be fine. I don’t like it. The Narrative said I’m a learner, and I really want to accomplish this. The Reality may be that, sadly, I am not going to be able to do everything, and this ambition has to go.

If you’ve got something like this, cut it out of your Narrative! You are not a piano player. That didn’t hurt like the last one, so it can go! And you can put that back in your Narrative any time, should circumstances change. You need to constantly update your expectations. Today’s a good day to do that.

Take account of your wins. These are the parts of the Narrative you want to really double down on.

For instance, both strength and endurance training are very important to me.

Narrative says: I work out in a systematic way, no excuses, and see continuous progress.

Reality says: I’m crushing that! I did have some setbacks, but every time I’ve had a choice, I have made that choice well. I can rest in this aspect of who I think I am right now.

Find your Narrative-busters and don’t let them get the better of you.

Narrative says: I eat only meat every day, and that feels great.

Reality says: Starting at Thanksgiving and going on through Christmas, I ate a little more “keto”, and it didn’t go so well for me.

This Narrative is still true, and the Reality, my behavior, got in the way. I still only eat meat every day, as a rule. The carnivore way of eating is an integral part of how I live. I can remedy this Narrative-buster by simply taking no action at all. It is lifting the fork that takes effort, not refusing to! That’s certainly not too high a hurdle to clear.

Fix your Narrative, or fix your Reality. Unless you want to go on lying to yourself or others, these really are the only two options. I could, instead of being true to the diet that I know works for me, decide that the square of dark chocolate is worth the inevitable inflammation it will cause. It isn’t, but those are my choices. The one choice I cannot allow myself is that of continuing after these indulgences to live out of accordance with the Narrative I know is true: Carnivore works better than anything I’ve tried.

Find these inconsistencies in your life and ask yourself “Should I change this part of my Narrative, or recommit to it?”

Is it hypocrisy I’m talking about rooting out? No, I really don’t think it is! Hypocrisy knows it’s lying, and doesn’t care. It’s just human imperfection we’re dealing with, normal inconsistency and frailty. We get so down on ourselves that we think we failed, think we’ve given up, when the truth is, we just need to get back in touch with Reality. Stop telling yourself one Story when another is more realistic.

For the world-weary, it may be better to take stock of your Self-story today than it would be to make a big commitment to one hard thing. Does it hurt to view the difference between your Narrative and your Reality? If so, you have two choices:

Update the Narrative, or change the Reality.

Keto Shortbread Christmas Cookies

Recipe first, talk later:

Keto Shortbread Cookies

An almond-flour alternative to a high-carb treat
Prep Time10 minutes
Cook Time15 minutes
Course: Dessert
Keyword: keto, low carb, sugar-free
Servings: 12

Equipment

  • 2 cookie sheets
  • 2 sheets of parchment paper
  • 1 large mixing bowl

Ingredients

  • 1.5 cups granulated sweetener such as a monkfruit/erythritol blend
  • 1 stick (half cup) unsalted butter room temperature
  • 2 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1/2 tsp butter extract optional
  • 4 lg eggs
  • 4 cups almond flour
  • 2/3 tsp cream of tartar optional (makes a fluffier cookie)
  • 1/3 tsp baking soda optional (makes a fluffier cookie)
  • 1 pinch salt

Instructions

  • Heat oven to 350℉
  • Cream together the butter and sweetener. Use either a hand mixer or a rubber spatula. I find a spatula is better for this.
  • Add vanilla, eggs, and extracts, and blend well with a hand mixer.
  • In a separate bowl, sift together the almond flour, baking powder, and salt.
  • Fold the dry mixture into the wet mixture.
  • Using a 2 oz scoop, form a dozen cookies per sheet, flattening the cookies with the palm of the hand (food service gloves are helpful here) or the back of a spoon.
  • If desired, top each cookie with a cherry (omit for keto, obviously), macadamia nut, or anything else you can think of!
  • Bake for 15-18 minutes, until just the edges have begun to brown. The cookies will firm up a bit as they cool. Bake one pan at a time for best results.

Notes

You can use a teaspoon of baking powder instead of the cream of tartar and baking soda. Commercial baking powders tend to use cornstarch. I have found one that uses cassava flour, as well.

I’ve shown you our adorable Advent Calendar before, haven’t I?

It’s become an indispensable tradition in our family. Some people just do a piece of candy or a small gift every day, and I have done that in the distant past. But when you are a low-sugar family, and there are eight children, that way of doing things can get unhealthy or expensive in a hurry. So I usually do activities. There is a food thing here and there, and today it was cookies!

I was going to attempt to make these traditional St. Nicholas Speculaas Cookies with a gluten-free flour, but when I mentioned that to the children, they didn’t like the idea. I think it’s OK to deviate from the plan from time to time. I’ve seen so many people stress out about putting food in their mouth that wasn’t perfect. I don’t want to see my kids with that kind of relationship with food. I just want them to know they always have a choice, and that every choice they make leads to the next one. They’ve come to understand that some foods don’t make them feel as good, even if they do provide a very satisfying experience in the mouth.

Kids want to do the best thing for themselves, if you just teach them how to think about it!

So we went to our go-to keto shortbread cookie. It really is every bit as tasty as a sugar and wheat cookie, and without the blood sugar spike and crash later on. Adding the nutmeg and cinnamon would be a very good idea, but I didn’t think to do that.

Black Bear Half Marathon Run Dump

I made it…Bearly!

It’s been more than a week since the half marathon in Hendersonville. I am sorry I took so long to update, especially to those friends who funded my run. You’re going to hear all about it now!

Pic from my hometown on Sept. 27, 2024 stolen from Bluegrass Life https://www.facebook.com/bluegrasslife/

As you all know, our beautiful mountains took a hard hit from hurricane Helene in September.

The half marathon (that at the time I was pretty confident I was ready for) was rescheduled for a month later, on November 10. I was determined to show up for this race, even though I had lost a lot of training time to the circumstances. Come Hell or high water, and the Good Lord willing, I was going visit Hendersonville and turn out in support of this beautiful community. The people in these mountains, including myself, are in desperate need of a little normalcy and fun. So I bought a neat tee-shirt to express my feelings on the matter…

…and I toddled my slow, unprepared butt on down the mountains past Asheville to run that race!

There were some challenges, of course. There always are, right?
But extra ones, this time. For one thing, I had only had four training runs between the day of the hurricane and the day of the race, a total of maybe 30 miles in the month. I spent some days shoveling mud, some days volunteering at donation sites, some days delivering supplies, and of course I still needed to take care of my own family. My community and family needed me far more than I needed to be out running. Don’t take this to mean that I was being some kind of hero or martyr. I did not do enough, and I’m not done yet! I truly wish I had done more even now, and there are a lot of actual heroes around here who deserve all the praise. I’m a very minor player, I promise. I’m only telling you this because that was how I’ve had to spend my time, rather than running. 

This is my shovel. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

For another thing, I apparently caught a bug of some kind. Maybe I poisoned myself mucking around in contaminated flood mud, maybe I was just stressed out, or maybe I caught what the kids next door had. Whatever it was, I had been feeling nauseated and unwell for the past two weeks, at that point. (I’m mostly better now!) I really didn’t know if I was going to be able to finish this run at all. I tried to keep upbeat about the whole thing, but I was feeling pre-defeated on the drive down.

Though it sounds ridiculous, the worst thing, the one thing in all this that made me almost literally cry?

I packed the wrong socks.

When I was packing for the trip, I honestly just couldn’t get my mind clear on what I was even packing for. Something about a race? Seriously? Now? I managed to grab most of what I needed. At least I packed the right shoes. But I forgot many of the obvious things that one would normally would take on an overnight trip: toiletries, pajamas, laptop, emergency cash. I just didn’t have my head in the game at all.

If you’re a runner, or you know a runner, you likely know what a sinking feeling I had when I opened up the bag of running gear that Sunday morning and saw that I’d grabbed toe socks instead of the conventional socks I normally run in. The only other socks I had were even less likely to benefit me, so I put on the stupid socks.

This was a “can I even make it?” kind of run. As you know, I’m not the fastest, nor will I ever hope to be. But I enjoy the mental and physical challenge of running. I did think there was a chance I’d be close to dead last under these conditions, if I made it at all. But I really didn’t want to have to write that up for all the friends who helped me get here, so I went out there determined to just puke and run, puke and run, if that’s what I needed to do.

Praise the Lord, I can actually say “Yes! I made it!” I came in 249th out of 289 finishers. I am not proud of this, but it is what I could do that day. I didn’t even puke!

First goal cleared!

Black Bear Finisher Medal and number bib

Half Marathon box checked!

I had some other goals that were a little less important on this run. But they were more firm, and honestly more likely to fail, I thought. I wanted to beat both my 5k and 10k personal bests in the first miles.

Second and third goals cleared, as well! This, I am proud of! Of course they’re not pro numbers, but they are getting better all the time, and I think I’ll have actually respectable speeds soon.

The one goal I did not meet, of course, was the half-marathon time goal. It was, in a word, abysmal. I had wanted to keep around a 12-minute pace for every mile, which would have put me around 2.5 hours at the finish. That was a modest goal, I thought. I do sincerely, and hopefully without fooling myself, believe that I could have done that back in October, when the original race was scheduled. My training was planned and executed well until September 27th.

I actually kept my planned pace pretty well–though widely varying between 10:30 and 12:30 each mile because I wanted to meet those early speed goals–until about mile 10, when my right foot started to feel the insult of having the toes wrapped individually instead of all in a bundle. I had no choice but to walk a good deal of the last 3 miles. I could still jog a little, but then I had to walk some more. I watched about 50 people of whom I’d felt confident I’d seen the last pass me. I was encouraged by many sweet souls telling me how great I was doing, but I was not. I was not doing great at all.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been that mad at myself. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. I know, it’s just an amateur race and I’m nobody to be taking anything that seriously. But this just sucked, ok? I am not angry at myself any more, but at the time, I just could not believe what I’d done there.

But I did finish. 

And after I finished, I showered, rested an hour or so, and then smashed this beautiful steak and eggs:

Don’t mind the green stuff. I didn’t eat that.

Thanks again, so much, for supporting this run, friends! I pray for each and every one of you to be rewarded tenfold for your generosity in giving to my gofundme. God bless your generous spirits! There will be more races!

Yet Another Update on the Black Bear Race

Grrrrrr.

I just updated my previous update with some new information, to wit: (The) travel insurance was, as insurance usually is, too tricky in its terms to be of any use to me. While it would have covered my being unable to get there because of a hurricane, they refused to cover my not needing the room due to a hurricane. I have all sorts of words not fit for print right now. I’m out the money my backers sent me for the room, and will have to start driving around 4:30 a.m. to make it for packet pickup. But I will go!

I am incredibly sorry to all of my GoFundMe givers. I probably should have waited until closer to the race to book the room. Next time I won’t plan so far out. I will still be doing that race!

Black Bear Half Marathon Update

 

New Run Date!

The Black Bear Half Marathon has been rescheduled for November 10th!

I said I’d do it, and I’m going to do it. Lord willing, etc., etc. I am under-trained at the moment because the hurricane aftermath made running just a little bit difficult. First, I didn’t want to sweat too much without showers available. Then I didn’t want to try to go fast on roads covered in debris and gravel. And then I just had to admit, when those excuses were used up, that my heart was just breaking for the people who’ve lost so much. I didn’t feel like running. Besides, there were better uses in the community and at home for my energy.

And then I caught a cold or something, I think while mucking about in flood mud. I’m on about day 6 of that, and feeling like I might be all better tomorrow. The very minute I feel like I can do it without setting myself back, I’m going to get back on the road again. I’m a little bit panicky, because I have less than a month to be ready for the challenge. Fortunately, it hasn’t been that long since I ran–only a couple of weeks and change, though it feels like a lot longer–so hopefully I haven’t lost too much ground.

Pray for me and wish me luck, friends! I’m already daydreaming about crossing that finish line with some PRs to brag about!

My GoFundMe is still up if you want to help pay for the trip! I am funded, as explained here, but could still use the extra scratch for training and travel incidentals.